どうも、小野田です。
今回はタイトルにもある通り、
自信をつけるための話をしようと思います。
【動画ver.】
あなたは自分に自信持ててますか?
「いや、持てないからこの記事見てんだよ!」
・・・たしかに愚問でした。苦笑
仕事とか恋愛で自信つける方法って、
検索するといっぱい出てきますよね。
・姿勢を良くする
・笑顔でいる
・身体を大きく広げる
・小さな成功体験を積み重ねる
だいたいこの辺りでしょうか。
僕が講座で話すときは、
ここにもっと東洋医学とか栄養学、
宗教、古武術の視点をいれて解説するんですが、
よく言われてるのは上記のものだと思います。
ですが、そもそもとして、
もっと”重大な心理”を多くの人は見落としてるんですよ。
どんなに自信つける方法を実践しても、
そもそも”ココ”が抜けてると意味ないよね!という根本心理が。
それが、今回伝えたいこと!
仕事や恋愛で自信つけるには
Twitterでこんなツイートをしました。
自信を持つためのスタートは、
「自信なくてもいいや、それはそれで良い面もあるし」って受け入れること。自信ない自分をダメだと思ってると、どんどん自信持てなくなる。
「自信ない自分でもオッケー!」ってすると自信持てるようになるという、不思議だけどホントのこと。
— 小野田サトシ@トークイベント11/22 (@carory) 2017年9月23日
この126文字のサインが源泉です。
(ブレーキランプ5回点滅のサイン的な、ね。)
ブレーキランプ126回点滅のサイン。
これが超大事!
自信つけたい!と思ってる人は、
「自信ない自分」をダメだと感じてるんです。
もう、ここがアウト。
自分を愛せてない。
自分を愛せてないんだから、
自信なんて持てるわけない。
愛するというのは、
まさに理想の母親像のイメージです。
子供がどんなに悪さをしても、
それすら受け入れて包み込むこと。
責めたりしないこと。
それが、愛することです。
ですが、「自信ない自分」に対して
”ダメ!”という評価をしてると、
人間なら不安になることあって当然なのに、
そのときに「なんて自分は・・・」って、
自分のことを責めるんですよ。
「自信ない自分」にオッケー出せてないと、たまに不安になったりしたときに「なんで自分は・・・」って自分を責めるようになる。
自分を責めてたら、自尊心下がってどんどん自信もなくなるし、行動する気力もなくなる。
そしたら今度は「なんて怠惰なんだ・・・」と自分を責める負のスパイラル。
— 小野田サトシ@トークイベント11/22 (@carory) 2017年9月23日
自分のこと責めてたら自尊心下がります。
(自尊心:自分に対する肯定的な態度)
自尊心下がれば、自信も持てないわけですね。
自信つけるためのスタートライン
じゃあ、自信つけるためにはどうすればいいか?
というと、まずやるべきことは、たった1つ。
「自信なくても別にいいや」
と、自信のない自分を受け入れること。
「いやいや、そんなの無理っす!」
って思われるかもですが、こう考えてみてはどうですか?
自信がないってことは、
慎重になって何度も確認したり
練習したりするってこと。
基本的に、確認作業や練習は、
やればやるほど質に磨きをかけて
ミスを防止することができます。
つまり、自信ないならないで、
何かしらの良さがあるということ。
この感覚が大事なんです。
=============
自信ないのはダメなことだから、
自信持てるようになりたい。
ではなくて、
↓
自信なくても良い面はあるけど、
自信あればもっと良くなるよな。
だから自信持ちたいな。
=============
という、この感覚。
図にするとこんな感じ。

「自信ない自分」にオッケーを出せていれば、
たとえたまに不安に感じることがあっても、
自分を責めたりしません。
「不安は不安で良さがあるよな」
という風に捉えられるんですね。
そしたら自尊心が下がることもなくなります。
なので、次に繋げていけるんですね。
あなたはどうでしょうか?
「自信ない自分」をダメだと思ってませんか?
「今の自分がダメだから変わりたい」
という感覚でいませんか?
まずは、その根本を逆転させることが始まり。
人間なんてそもそも怠惰ですし、
怖がりだし、欲深い生き物なんです。
それを”ダメ”と評価してたら、
すぐ自分を責めるようになっちゃいます。
どんなことでも、
何かしらの良い面がある。
というのに気付けたら、
一気にあらゆることが順調に動き始めますよ。
自信をつけることができます。
ではでは。
いつもありがとうございます!
【関連記事】
→宗教の断食から学ぶ自信の持ち方
◆LINE@も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
=コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。




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References:
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