自信をつける逆転の発想?!9割の人が見落とす心理とは

恋愛・コミュニケーション

どうも、小野田です。
今回はタイトルにもある通り、
自信をつけるための話をしようと思います。

【動画ver.】

あなたは自分に自信持ててますか?

「いや、持てないからこの記事見てんだよ!」
・・・たしかに愚問でした。苦笑
 

仕事とか恋愛で自信つける方法って、
検索するといっぱい出てきますよね。

・姿勢を良くする
・笑顔でいる
・身体を大きく広げる
・小さな成功体験を積み重ねる

だいたいこの辺りでしょうか。
 

僕が講座で話すときは、
ここにもっと東洋医学とか栄養学、
宗教、古武術の視点をいれて解説するんですが、
よく言われてるのは上記のものだと思います。

ですが、そもそもとして、
もっと”重大な心理”を多くの人は見落としてるんですよ。

どんなに自信つける方法を実践しても、
そもそも”ココ”が抜けてると意味ないよね!という根本心理が。

それが、今回伝えたいこと!
 

仕事や恋愛で自信つけるには

Twitterでこんなツイートをしました。


この126文字のサインが源泉です。
(ブレーキランプ5回点滅のサイン的な、ね。)

ブレーキランプ126回点滅のサイン。

これが超大事!
 

自信つけたい!と思ってる人は、
「自信ない自分」をダメだと感じてるんです。

もう、ここがアウト。

自分を愛せてない。

自分を愛せてないんだから、
自信なんて持てるわけない。
 

愛するというのは、
まさに理想の母親像のイメージです。

子供がどんなに悪さをしても、
それすら受け入れて包み込むこと。

責めたりしないこと。

それが、愛することです。
 

ですが、「自信ない自分」に対して
”ダメ!”という評価をしてると、
人間なら不安になることあって当然なのに、
そのときに「なんて自分は・・・」って、
自分のことを責める
んですよ。


自分のこと責めてたら自尊心下がります。
(自尊心:自分に対する肯定的な態度)

自尊心下がれば、自信も持てないわけですね。
 

自信つけるためのスタートライン

じゃあ、自信つけるためにはどうすればいいか?
というと、まずやるべきことは、たった1つ。

「自信なくても別にいいや」
と、自信のない自分を受け入れること。

「いやいや、そんなの無理っす!」
って思われるかもですが、こう考えてみてはどうですか?
 

自信がないってことは、
慎重になって何度も確認したり
練習したりするってこと。

基本的に、確認作業や練習は、
やればやるほど質に磨きをかけて
ミスを防止することができます。

つまり、自信ないならないで、
何かしらの良さがあるということ。

 

この感覚が大事なんです。

=============
自信ないのはダメなことだから、
自信持てるようになりたい。

ではなくて、

自信なくても良い面はあるけど、
自信あればもっと良くなるよな。
だから自信持ちたいな。
=============

という、この感覚。

図にするとこんな感じ。

「自信ない自分」にオッケーを出せていれば、
たとえたまに不安に感じることがあっても、
自分を責めたりしません。

「不安は不安で良さがあるよな」
という風に捉えられるんですね。

そしたら自尊心が下がることもなくなります。

なので、次に繋げていけるんですね。
 

あなたはどうでしょうか?

「自信ない自分」をダメだと思ってませんか?

「今の自分がダメだから変わりたい」
という感覚でいませんか?
 

まずは、その根本を逆転させることが始まり。

人間なんてそもそも怠惰ですし、
怖がりだし、欲深い生き物なんです。

それを”ダメ”と評価してたら、
すぐ自分を責めるようになっちゃいます。
 

どんなことでも、
何かしらの良い面がある。

というのに気付けたら、
一気にあらゆることが順調に動き始めますよ。

自信をつけることができます。
 

ではでは。
いつもありがとうございます!

【関連記事】
→宗教の断食から学ぶ自信の持ち方
 

◆LINE@も好評です◆

技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
=コミュニケーション力

そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。

期間限定で電子書籍シリーズもプレゼント中!

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