どうも、小野田です。
昨日、こんなツイートをしました。
僕にとってのコミュニケーション力は「居場所をつくるもの」
・自分の居場所
・誰かの居場所
・誰かにとっての居場所そんな居場所をつくるもの。
こういう信念で発信してる。
— 小野田サトシ@コミュ力 (@carory) 2017年7月21日
コミュニケーション力って聞くと、
一般的には「上手に話せること」だとか
「聞き上手」のことだと思われがちで、
それが出来なければコミュ力は低いと考えられてます。
でも僕にとっては違っていて。
コミュニケーション力とは何か？
って聞かれたら、「居場所を創るもの」
という一言に集約されます。
（今の時点ではそういう認識）
じゃあその居場所って何か？というと、
それがツイートに書いた３つ。
１．自分の居場所
居場所というのは、
「ああ、自分は誰かに貢献できてるんだな」
っていう実感を持てる場のことをいいます。
人間、これが無いと辛いです。
「誰かの役に立ってる」って感覚がどこからも得られないのは辛いもの。
きっと、本当に「働きたくない」なんて思ってる人はいない。
正確には「"自分"の価値を実感できないことはしたくない」なんだと思う。 https://t.co/RiQK3IVFwJ
— 小野田サトシ@コミュ力 (@carory) 2017年6月24日
エーリッヒフロムも
「人間の最大の欲求は孤独からの克服だ」
と言ってたように、居場所の有無は
幸福度にダイレクトに影響するんですよ。
じゃあ、どうやって自分の居場所を確保するのか？
が重要になってくると思います。
この原則はすごくシンプルで、
「関わった人にプラスの影響を与えてるかどうか」
これだけです。
面白い話ができる、っていうのも、
相手を楽しい気分にさせるって意味で
居場所をつくることになるんですが、
それだけじゃない！ってのがポイント。
たとえば、何も面白い話なんて出来なくても、
いつでも穏やかな気分でいるだけで
一緒にいる相手にプラスの影響を与えるんですね。
これは脳のミラーニューロンという神経細胞が関係してます。
ミラーっていうのはそのまんま「鏡」の意味で、
誰かの行動を見たときに、まるで自分が
同じ行動を取ってるかのように
鏡のような反応をするのがミラーニューロン。
つまり、たとえ自分が落ち込んでるときでも、
元気で明るい人を見たら、脳はまるで
自分が元気で明るい行動をしてるように感じるんです。
なので、いつでも穏やかな気持ちでいられるような
自分磨きをしたとしたら、それを見た
一緒にいる相手も穏やかな気持ちにしてしまうんです。
※もちろん、鏡が逆に働いて、
あなたもイライラしだす可能性もあるんですが、
今ミラーニューロンの働きを知ったあなたなら、
それに飲み込まれずに分離できるはず。
だからこそ僕は、
いつでも穏やかな気分でいるためには
脳機能を整えておくのも大事だから栄養は重要！
ってことで、
コミュニケーションを発信テーマにしながら
栄養のセミナーやったりしてます。
それが自分の居場所をつくることになるから。
で、そんな風に自分を磨いて
居場所を沢山つくれるようになると
今度はどんな影響が出てくるかというと、
２．誰かの居場所
ここに繋がります。
さっきのミラーニューロンの話で出てきたように、
あなたが穏やかな気分だったり、
楽しそうにしてたり、向上心旺盛に行動してれば、
それを見た人もミラーニューロンの反応で
同じような行動をするようになるんです。
すると、今度はその人が、
また別の人にプラスの影響を与えるようになります。
そしたら、その人も居場所をつくれるようになるんです。
そういう意味で「誰かの居場所」と書きました。
３．誰かにとっての居場所
相手のことを共感はできないとしても
理解しようとする姿勢が身につけば、
相手にとってあなたは「味方」になります。
自分の好きなことを否定せずに、
理解しようとしてくれる「味方」。
それは相手にとって安全基地ができるようなもんで、
居場所の１つなんですね。
それに、どんな人からでも学びを得ようとしていれば、
相手はあなたに学びや発見を与えることになるわけですから、
「貢献できる場になる」っていう意味でも居場所になります。
そんな風に、あなた自身が誰かにとっての居場所になる。
そういう状態にもなるんですね。
僕は、こんな風に３つの居場所をつくっていけることを
「コミュニケーション力が高い」ことだと思ってます。
自分だけじゃなく、周りの幸福度も上げるような状態。
現時点で僕がどれだけ
それぞれのレベルを上げれてるのか分かりませんが、
きっと終わりはないんだろうな〜と思います。
だけど、できるかぎりレベル上げていきたいなって。
でもって、
この循環をより多くの人が起こすようになれば、
連鎖的に世のなかにも良い影響が出るだろうなとは思ってます。
だから、学んだこと考えたこと気付いたことは、
どんどん発信してます。
今日も脳科学について一気に深めようと、
図書館にこもって７冊くらい読書しました。
ネタが大量に増えたので、
しばらくは脳科学ネタが増えるかもです。笑
ちょっと話脱線しちゃいましたが、
これが僕にとってのコミュニケーション力。
コミュニケーション力とは、
居場所をつくるもの。
ではでは、今回はこれで。
ありがとうございました！
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学などなど
幅広い分野の知見を惜しみなく発信してます。
直接LINEでのやり取りもできます。
→今すぐ参加する
（もしくはLINE ID「@carory」で@込みで検索）
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