どうも、小野田です。
「友達と会話続かなくて沈黙が気まずい！」
って感じたことありますか？
僕もそう感じてたことあります。
が、今なら声を大にしてこれを伝えたい。
気まずい！は幻想
気まずい！を感じる場面ってたくさんあると思います。
・彼氏（彼女）と沈黙になって気まずい
・デートで会話途切れて気まずい
・美容師さんにカットしてもらってるとき気まずい
・職場で上司と２人になると気まずい
僕もそう感じてました。
沈黙になると、そわそわしてきて
「なにか喋らないと！なに喋ろう？思いつかないー！！」
って、なってました。笑
そして振り絞った最後の１滴の言葉は、
「お腹空いたー」・・・みたいな。苦笑
せっかく好きな人と楽しむためにデートしても、
「なに喋ろう？！」と考え過ぎて疲れちゃってました。
でも、気付いたんです。
気付いちゃったんです。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手にそう感じてるだけ。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
ってことに。
衝撃的。
世紀の大発見でした。
「気まずい」は”現象”ではなかったんです。
ただの”主観”なんですよ。
「気まずい」って感じてるから気まずいだけで、
その場が気まずくなったわけじゃない。
これに気付いてから、
「別にこれは気まずい場面じゃない」
と思うようにしました。
そしたら、気まずさを感じることがなくなったんです。
気まずさを感じなくなったら、
ソワソワモゾモゾもしなくなるので、
自然と余裕のある雰囲気になります。
そのおかげか、
「いつも心に余裕あるよね。」
と言われることが多くなりました。
昔はあんなにソワソワしてたのに。笑
でも、そのためにやったことはシンプル！
「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手に感じてるだけなんだ。
と気付くこと。
これだけでした。
こういうのって他にもたくさんあるよなーと思いますけど、
話が脱線するのでその辺はLINE＠で補足するとします。
まだ参加してなかったら参加しておくべし。
ではではー！
いつもありがとうございます。
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
期間限定で電子書籍シリーズもプレゼント中！
コメント
Different in a good way from the cookie cutter content that fills most blogs covering this area, and a stop at actionclaritylab kept showing me why, original thoughtful writing exists if you know where to look and this site has earned a place on my short list of those rare exceptions worth defending.
Now feeling mildly impressed in a way I do not quite remember feeling about a blog in a while, and a stop at growthfindsdirection extended that mild impression, content that produces specific positive emotional responses rather than just neutral information transfer is content with extra dimensions and this site has those extra dimensions clearly.
Bookmark added without hesitation after finishing, and a look at growthpipeline confirmed I should bookmark the homepage too rather than just this page, the rare site that earns category level trust rather than just single article approval is the kind I want to rely on across many different topics over time.
Coming to this with low expectations and being pleasantly surprised by the substance, and a stop at buildtractionnow continued exceeding expectations, the recalibration of expectations upward across multiple positive readings is one of the actual rewards of careful browsing and this site is providing that recalibration at a steady rate apparently.
Now wishing more sites covered topics with this level of care, and a look at growwithprecision extended that wish across more subjects, the rarity of careful coverage on most topics is a problem and this site is one of the small antidotes to that broader pattern of casual or surface treatment of complex subjects.
Felt the writer was being honest with the reader which is rare enough that I want to acknowledge it, and a look at actioncreatestraction continued that honest feel, content built on actual knowledge rather than aggregated summaries is something I value highly and rarely come across in regular searches on the open internet these days.
Without comparing too aggressively to other sources this one stands out for the right reasons, and a look at ideasintosystems continued that distinctive quality, content that distinguishes itself through substance rather than style tricks is content with lasting differentiation and this site has clearly chosen substance based differentiation as its core editorial strategy.
Felt the writer respected the topic without being precious about it, and a look at signaldrivenaction continued that respectful but unfussy treatment, finding the right register for serious topics is hard and this site has clearly figured out how to take the topic seriously while still being readable for casual visitors regularly.
Beyond the topic at hand this site reads as a small ongoing project of taking writing seriously, and a look at gentleparent reinforced that project quality, sites that treat publishing as an ongoing serious practice rather than as content production for traffic are sites worth supporting and this one has clearly chosen the serious approach.
Reading this prompted me to clean up some old notes related to the topic, and a stop at velvetglowhub extended that organising urge, content that triggers personal organisation rather than just consuming attention is content with motivating energy and this site has the kind of clarity that prompts active follow up rather than passive consumption.
Glad to find a site whose links lead somewhere worth going rather than back to itself for SEO juice, and a stop at brightcanvas kept that generous outbound feel, citing other peoples work with real respect rather than just for ranking signals is a sign of an honest operation worth supporting going forward.
Found this really helpful, the explanations are simple but they actually answer the questions a normal reader would have, and after I followed trendgallery I had a clearer sense of the topic, no extra fluff just useful points laid out in a sensible order that made the time worth it.
Quietly the post solved something I had been turning over without quite knowing how to phrase the question, and a look at actionshapessuccess extended that quiet solving, content that addresses unformulated needs is content with reader insight and this site has demonstrated that insight at a high rate across the pieces I have read recently.
Reading this with a notebook open turned out to be the right move, and a stop at quantumharbor added more material to the notes, content that justifies active note taking from a passive reader is content with real informational density and this site is producing notes worthy material at a high rate consistently.
Decided I would read the archives over the weekend, and a stop at buildclearoutcomes confirmed that the archives would be worth the time, very few sites have archives I would actively read through but this one has earned that level of interest based on the consistent quality across what I have sampled so far.
I really like the calm tone here, it does not push anything on the reader, and after I went through digitalhaven I felt the same way, just steady useful content laid out without drama, which is exactly what someone trying to learn something quickly needs to find rather than aggressive marketing.
Now saved this in a way that I will actually find again rather than the casual bookmark approach, and a stop at progresswithsignal earned the same careful saving, organising my reading bookmarks so that high quality sources rise to the top is something I should do more of and this site triggered that organisation today.
Found this through a friend who recommended it and now I see why, and a look at directionturnsideas only strengthened that recommendation in my own mind, word of mouth still works for content that actually delivers and this site is clearly earning recommendations the old fashioned way through quality rather than marketing.
Once I had read three posts the editorial pattern was clear, and a look at growththroughdesign confirmed the pattern from a fourth angle, sites where the underlying approach reveals itself through accumulated reading rather than being announced are sites with real depth and this one has that quality clearly visible across multiple pieces consistently.
Worth recommending broadly to anyone who reads on the topic, and a look at ideasneedalignment only confirms that, the rare combination of accessibility and depth in this site makes it suitable for both newcomers and people who already know the area which is hard to pull off in any blog format today and rarely managed.
Came in for one specific question and got answers to three I had not even thought to ask, and a look at intentionalforwardenergy extended that bonus value pattern, the kind of resource that anticipates reader needs rather than just answering the literal question asked is the gold standard and this site reaches it.
Really appreciate this kind of writing, no shouting and no clickbait headlines just steady useful content, and a quick look at comicnexus kept that going, definitely a site I will be returning to whenever I need a sensible take on similar topics in the days ahead and also during slower work weeks.
Well done, the writing is professional without being stiff, and the topic is treated with care, and a look at latinovista reflected that approach, the kind of site I would point a colleague to if they asked for a reliable starting point on this topic in the future without any hesitation at all.
On reflection this is the kind of writing that improves my taste for what is possible in the format, and a look at profitnexus continued raising that bar, content that elevates my expectations rather than lowering them is doing important work in calibrating my standards and this site is participating in that elevation reliably.
Adding this site to my regular reading list, the post earned that on its own, and a quick stop at digitalclicks sealed the decision, the kind of place worth checking back with from time to time because it consistently produces material that holds up against a critical reading too which I really value.
Honestly impressed by the consistency of voice across what I have read so far, and a quick visit to momentumdesign continued that consistent feel, when a site reads like one careful person rather than a committee the experience is more rewarding for the reader who notices these subtle editorial details over time.
I really like the calm tone here, it does not push anything on the reader, and after I went through greenharvest I felt the same way, just steady useful content laid out without drama, which is exactly what someone trying to learn something quickly needs to find rather than aggressive marketing.
A quiet piece that did not try to compete on volume, and a look at growthnavigationpath maintained that selective approach, sites that publish less but better are increasingly rare in an environment that rewards volume and this one has clearly chosen quality cadence over quantity which is a brave editorial decision in current conditions.
Felt the post had been quietly polished rather than aggressively styled, and a look at growthfollowsfocus confirmed the same understated polish, sites whose quality reveals itself slowly rather than announcing itself loudly are the kind I trust more deeply because the trust is not based on first impressions of marketing but actual substance.
Reading this on a difficult day was a small bright spot, and a stop at nexoravision extended that brightness, content that improves a hard day is content that has earned a particular kind of place in my reading habits and this site is occupying that uplifting role for me today which I appreciate clearly.
Spent a few minutes here and came away with a clearer picture of the topic, the writing keeps things simple without dumbing them down, and after a stop at brightvertex the rest of the points lined up neatly which is something I appreciate when I am short on time and need answers fast.
Liked how the post handled an objection I was forming as I read, and a stop at progressengine similarly anticipated where my thinking was going next, the rare writer who can predict reader concerns and address them in advance is doing something most online content fails to do despite that being basic editorial work.
A piece that ended with a clean landing rather than fading out, and a look at intentionalvelocity maintained the same crisp conclusions, endings that resolve rather than dissolve are a sign of careful structural thinking and this site has clearly invested in how its pieces conclude rather than letting them simply run out of energy.
If you asked me to point to a recent positive sign for the open web this site would be near the top, and a stop at buildclearprogress reinforced that designation, the few sites that serve as evidence the web can still produce quality independent content are precious and this one has clearly become one for me.
Liked that the post landed without needing to manufacture controversy or take a contrarian stance for attention, and a stop at velvettress continued that grounded approach, content that earns attention through quality rather than provocation is the kind that builds long term trust rather than burning it on quick wins.
Honest assessment after reading this twice is that it holds up under careful attention, and a look at growthpilothub extended that durability across more pages, content that survives a second read without revealing weak spots is rarer than the average reader probably realises and this site clearly cleared that bar.
However many similar pages I have read this one taught me something new, and a stop at clarityturnsideas added more new material, content that contributes genuinely fresh information rather than recycling what is already widely available is content with real informational value and this site is providing that informational freshness at a notable rate.
Taking the time to read carefully here has been worthwhile for the past hour, and a look at growthwithoutfriction extended the worthwhile reading, the calculation of return on reading time spent is something I do informally and this site has been producing positive returns across multiple sessions during the last week of regular visits and reads.
Worth flagging that the writing rewarded a second read more than I expected, and a look at ideasneedmotion produced the same second read benefit, content with hidden depths that emerge only on careful rereading is rare in the modern blog space and this site has clearly invested in that level of compositional density throughout.
Now recognising that this site has earned a place in the small group of resources I treat as authoritative, and a stop at urbanmarket confirmed that placement, the difference between resources I trust and resources I just consume is real and this site has clearly moved into the trusted category through consistent quality over time.
Now feeling slightly more optimistic about the state of independent writing online, and a stop at vibrantstage extended that quiet optimism, sites like this one are the reason I have not given up on the open web entirely and finding them occasionally renews the case for paying attention to non algorithmic content sources today.
Glad the writer did not feel the need to argue with imaginary critics in the post itself, and a stop at claritybeforevelocity kept the same focused approach going, defensive writing wastes the reader time and confidence on positions that did not need defending and this post has clearly avoided that common failure.
Well done, the kind of post that makes you slow down and actually read instead of skimming for keywords, and a look at intentionalvelocity kept me reading carefully too, that is a sign of writing that has been crafted rather than churned out for an algorithm to see today and tomorrow.
Glad the writer did not feel the need to argue with imaginary critics in the post itself, and a stop at forwardthinkingcore kept the same focused approach going, defensive writing wastes the reader time and confidence on positions that did not need defending and this post has clearly avoided that common failure.
Decided to subscribe to the RSS feed if there is one, and a stop at urbanriders confirmed that decision, content that I want delivered to me proactively rather than just remembered when I have time is content that has earned a higher level of commitment from me as a reader looking for reliable sources.
Found a couple of useful angles in here I had not considered before reading carefully, and a quick stop at progresswithclarity added more, this is one of those sites where the value compounds the more you read rather than peaking at one viral post and then offering nothing else of substance afterwards which is common.
Reading this in three sittings because the day was fragmented, and the piece survived the fragmentation, and a stop at actionfeedsprogress held up under similar reading conditions, content engineered for continuous attention is fragile in modern conditions and this site reads as durable across the realistic ways people consume content today.
Reading this fit naturally into my afternoon walk because I was reading on my phone, and a stop at winterhaven continued well in that walking format, content that survives mobile reading without becoming awkward is content with format flexibility and this site has clearly thought about how it reads across different devices today.
A piece that prompted a small mental rearrangement of how I order related ideas, and a look at glowharbor extended that rearranging effect, content that affects the structure of my thinking rather than just adding to it is content with the deepest kind of impact and this site is reaching that depth for me today.
If patience for careful reading is rare these days finding sites that reward it is rarer still, and a stop at focusacceleration extended that rare reward, the diminishing returns on shallow content reading have made me more selective about where to spend reading time and this site is meeting the higher selectivity bar consistently.