友達と会話続かなくて気まずい!と感じるのは幻想だと気付こう

恋愛・コミュニケーション

どうも、小野田です。
「友達と会話続かなくて沈黙が気まずい!」
って感じたことありますか?

僕もそう感じてたことあります。

が、今なら声を大にしてこれを伝えたい。
 

気まずい!は幻想

気まずい!を感じる場面ってたくさんあると思います。

・彼氏(彼女)と沈黙になって気まずい
・デートで会話途切れて気まずい
・美容師さんにカットしてもらってるとき気まずい
・職場で上司と2人になると気まずい

僕もそう感じてました。

沈黙になると、そわそわしてきて
「なにか喋らないと!なに喋ろう?思いつかないー!!」
って、なってました。笑

そして振り絞った最後の1滴の言葉は、
「お腹空いたー」・・・みたいな。苦笑

せっかく好きな人と楽しむためにデートしても、
「なに喋ろう?!」と考え過ぎて疲れちゃってました。
 

でも、気付いたんです。

気付いちゃったんです。
 

==============
「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手にそう感じてるだけ。

==============
ってことに。
 

衝撃的。

世紀の大発見でした。
 

「気まずい」は”現象”ではなかったんです。
ただの”主観”なんですよ。

「気まずい」って感じてるから気まずいだけで、
その場が気まずくなったわけじゃない。
 

これに気付いてから、
「別にこれは気まずい場面じゃない」
と思うようにしました。

そしたら、気まずさを感じることがなくなったんです。

気まずさを感じなくなったら、
ソワソワモゾモゾもしなくなるので、
自然と余裕のある雰囲気になります。

そのおかげか、
「いつも心に余裕あるよね。」
と言われることが多くなりました。

昔はあんなにソワソワしてたのに。笑
 

でも、そのためにやったことはシンプル!

「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手に感じてるだけなんだ。

と気付くこと。

これだけでした。
 

こういうのって他にもたくさんあるよなーと思いますけど、
話が脱線するのでその辺はLINE@で補足するとします。

まだ参加してなかったら参加しておくべし。
 

ではではー!
いつもありがとうございます。
 

◆LINE@も好評です◆

技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
=コミュニケーション力

そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。

期間限定で電子書籍シリーズもプレゼント中!

コメント

  1. BeauiniLk より:

    Quality writing that respects the reader’s intelligence without overloading them, and a quick look at artistneedle reflected that approach, a balanced thoughtful site that earns trust by being consistent rather than by shouting about how trustworthy it is which is the usual approach online sadly across most content categories.

  2. JabariHic より:

    A piece that did not lean on the writer credentials or institutional backing, and a look at actioncreatestraction maintained the same focus on substance, content that earns trust through quality rather than through name dropping is the kind I find most persuasive and this site is clearly playing on the substance side of that distinction.

  3. Christianincig より:

    Now appreciating the small but real way this post improved my afternoon, and a stop at growththroughmotion extended that small improvement effect, content that produces measurable positive impact on the texture of a reading day is content with real value and this site is producing those small positive impacts at a sustainable rate apparently.

  4. ColinCanna より:

    Found something quietly useful here that I expect to return to, and a stop at momentumworkflow added more of the same, content with quiet utility ages well in a way that flashy hot takes do not and I have learned to weight quiet utility much higher when deciding what to bookmark for later use.

  5. Todshape より:

    Reading this fit naturally into my afternoon walk because I was reading on my phone, and a stop at expertvoyager continued well in that walking format, content that survives mobile reading without becoming awkward is content with format flexibility and this site has clearly thought about how it reads across different devices today.

  6. JeremyBobia より:

    Just wanted to drop a quick note saying this was a useful read on a topic I have been circling, no fluff, and a stop at stellarchoice added a few extra points that fit the same simple style which makes the whole site feel coherent rather than thrown together by many different writers with different goals.

  7. BoydBof より:

    Picked up on several small touches that suggest a careful editor, and a look at rapidcourier suggested the same hand at work across the broader site, editorial consistency at a granular level is one of the strongest signs that an operation is serious rather than just hobbyist and this site reads as serious throughout.

  8. Eduardopauct より:

    Thanks again for the post, I learned a couple of things I can actually use later this week, and after I went over clarityshift the rest of the site looked equally promising, definitely going to spend more time here when I get a free moment over the weekend to read more carefully.

  9. PatrickMum より:

    Appreciate how nothing here feels copied or pieced together from other places, the voice is consistent and the tone stays human, and after I checked progressengineon I noticed the same style holds, which is a small detail but it makes the whole experience feel personal rather than like another generic site.

  10. MurrayTox より:

    Really thankful for posts that respect a reader’s time, this one does, and a quick look at intentionalvelocity was the same, no need to scroll through endless intros just to get to the actual content, that approach alone is enough reason to come back here regularly for the kind of writing offered.

  11. FelixEsses より:

    A piece that prompted a small mental rearrangement of how I order related ideas, and a look at festiveglow extended that rearranging effect, content that affects the structure of my thinking rather than just adding to it is content with the deepest kind of impact and this site is reaching that depth for me today.

  12. Ryanquame より:

    Now realising the post has been quietly doing important work in my mind for the past hour, and a stop at signalcreatesmovement extended that quiet processing, content that continues to do work after I close the tab is content with afterlife in the mind and this site is producing those long lived effects at a meaningful rate.

  13. OscarSig より:

    Just wanted to say this was useful and leave a small note of thanks, and a quick visit to radiantderma earned a similar nod from me, the small acknowledgements add up over time and represent the real economy of trust that good content runs on across the open and increasingly fragmented modern internet.

  14. Dariusgot より:

    Genuinely changed how I think about a small piece of the topic, which does not happen often online, and a look at mysticvoyage added another nudge in the same direction, the kind of writing that earns a small mental shift rather than just confirming what you already thought before reading is a sign of careful thought.

  15. Maxexpig より:

    Liked everything about the experience, from the opening through to the closing notes, and a stop at brightdebate extended that into more pages, finding a site where the editorial vision shows through every choice rather than feeling random is an increasingly rare experience and one I am glad to have today during this particular reading session.

  16. VaughnHog より:

    Now recognising the post as a rare example of careful writing on a topic that mostly receives careless treatment, and a stop at buildvelocitycleanly extended that contrast with the average elsewhere, content that highlights how much the average is settling for low quality is content that has both internal merit and external value as a benchmark.

  17. Percyevaks より:

    Top tier post, the kind that makes you want to share the link with friends working in the same area, and a stop at signalthefuture only made me more confident in doing that, this site is one of the better resources I have seen on the topic recently across both new and older posts.

  18. Gingeruntor より:

    Picked up two new ideas that I expect will come up in conversations this week, and a look at facthorizon added another, content that arms me with talking points rather than just filling time is the kind that provides ongoing value beyond the moment of reading and this site is generating that kind of ongoing value.

  19. Issachaf より:

    Appreciate the thoughtful approach, the writer clearly took time to make this readable for someone who is not already an expert, and a look at strategyfocus kept that going nicely, easy on the eyes and easy on the brain which is always a winning combination when reading on a busy day.

  20. Davidwouch より:

    After several visits I am now confident this site is one to follow seriously, and a stop at ideaprogression reinforced that confidence, the gradual building of trust through repeated quality exposures is the only sustainable way to develop reader loyalty and this site is building that loyalty in me through patient consistent work consistently.

  21. Sergionex より:

    Highly recommend to anyone looking for a sensible take on this topic without the usual marketing nonsense, and a look at clarityfuel kept that grounded approach going, sites that stay focused on serving readers rather than monetising every click are rare and this is clearly one of those rare ones I really appreciate finding.

  22. JadenPoomb より:

    Reading this gave me the rare experience of fully agreeing with all the conclusions, and a stop at progresswithcontrol continued that agreement pattern, content that aligns with my existing views without seeming designed to do so is just content that happens to be reasonable and this site reads as reasonable rather than ideological mostly.

  23. KareemClake より:

    Skipped breakfast still reading this and finished hungry but satisfied, and a stop at growthfindsclarity kept me past breakfast time, content that displaces basic biological needs is content with serious attentional pull and the writers here are clearly capable of producing that level of engagement which is genuinely impressive these days.

  24. NicolasBes より:

    Reading this triggered a small but real correction in something I had assumed, and a stop at actionplanner extended that corrective effect, content that updates my beliefs through evidence rather than rhetoric is content with intellectual integrity and this site has earned that label consistently across the pieces I have read so far today.

  25. Cassidyceatt より:

    Worth recognising that the post did not pretend to be the final word on the topic, and a stop at ideasgainmotion continued that humility, content that admits its own scope and limits is more trustworthy than content that overreaches and this site has clearly developed the editorial maturity to know what it can and cannot claim well.

  26. WilfredJar より:

    The whole experience of reading this was pleasant from start to finish, no pop ups and no annoying interruptions, and a look at shadowbeast continued that clean experience, technical choices about page design matter for the reader and this site clearly cares about the small details that add up to comfort across multiple visits.

  27. DonRal より:

    I appreciate the clarity here, everything is explained in simple terms without unnecessary detail, and after a quick stop at forwardthinkingcore the points came together nicely for me, the writing keeps things straightforward and respects the reader from start to finish without ever talking down to anyone.

  28. IgnacioDib より:

    Picked up a couple of new ideas here that I can actually try out, and after my visit to urbanfashion I have even more notes saved, this is the kind of resource that pays you back for the time you spend on it which is rare to come across in this corner of the web.

  29. Kentonsot より:

    Got pulled in by the headline and stayed because the content actually delivered on the promise, and a stop at actionshapessuccess kept that trust intact, when a site lives up to its own framing it earns the right to keep showing up in my browser tabs going forward indefinitely from here on out really.

  30. JavierSpure より:

    Now realising the topic deserved better treatment than it has been getting elsewhere, and a look at oceanvoyagerhub extended that broader recognition, content that exposes the gap between actual quality and average quality elsewhere is doing the quiet work of raising standards and this site is contributing to that elevation in its own corner.

  31. LaneCef より:

    Felt the writer was speaking my language without trying to imitate it, and a look at executeideasfast continued that natural fit, when a writers default voice happens to match what you find easy to read the experience feels frictionless and that is something I notice and remember about specific sites going forward.

  32. MiguelBiozy より:

    Liked that the post resisted a sales pitch ending, and a stop at littlebloomhub maintained the no pitch approach, content that ends without trying to convert me into a customer or subscriber is content that has confidence in its own value and this site is clearly playing the long game on reader trust.

  33. NathanielUnlot より:

    Better signal to noise ratio than most places I check on this kind of topic, and a look at actionremovesfriction kept that going, every paragraph here carries something worth reading rather than padding out the page to hit some arbitrary length target that search engines reward but readers ignore as soon as they notice it.

  34. MarkAvelt より:

    Approaching this site through a casual link click and being surprised by what I found, and a look at forwardtractionhub extended the surprise, the rare experience of stumbling into excellent independent content rather than predictable mediocrity is one of the actual remaining pleasures of casual web browsing and this site provided it cleanly.

  35. MaxwellNardy より:

    Now adding this to a short list of sites I would defend in a conversation about the modern web, and a look at buildmomentumintelligently reinforced that defence list, the few sites that serve as evidence the web can still produce good things are precious and this one has clearly joined that small list of exemplary sites.

  36. Ricolib より:

    If I were to recommend a starting point for the topic this site would be near the top of my list, and a stop at quantumharbor reinforced that recommendation status, the small list of starting point recommendations I keep for friends asking about topics is short and this site is now firmly on it.

  37. TroyAtows より:

    Really like the way the post resists reaching for cliches that would have made it feel generic, and a quick visit to growthpipeline kept that fresh feel going, original phrasing and unexpected metaphors are signs that the writer is actually thinking rather than just stitching together familiar phrases into the appearance of content.

  38. TylerAcand より:

    Quality you can feel from the first paragraph, the writer clearly knows the topic and how to share it, and a quick look at focusforwardpath confirmed the same depth runs throughout the rest of the site as well which is rare and worth pointing out when it happens online for any reader passing through.

  39. GilbertoMah より:

    Worth pointing out the careful word choice in this post, no buzzwords and no jargon, and a look at buildmomentumwisely continued that disciplined vocabulary, sites that resist the pull of trendy language are sites that will read well in five years and this one is clearly built for that kind of long durability.

  40. LinwoodFax より:

    Thanks for sharing this with the open internet rather than locking it behind a paywall like so many sites do now, and a stop at focusandexecute kept the same vibe going, generous helpful and clearly written by someone who actually wants people to learn from it rather than just charge them.

  41. GingerGlugh より:

    Great work on keeping things readable, the post never drags or repeats itself which I really appreciate, and a stop at nexustower added a bit more context that fit naturally with what was already said here, no need to read everything twice to get the point being made today.

  42. DonRal より:

    Reading this triggered a small reorganisation of my own thinking on the topic, and a stop at forwardthinkingcore furthered that reorganisation, content that affects the shape of my mental model rather than just decorating it with new facts is content with structural rather than informational impact and this site provides that.

  43. Wilfordsumma より:

    The lack of unnecessary jargon made the post accessible without sacrificing accuracy, and a look at actiondrive continued in the same accessible style, technical topics often hide behind specialised vocabulary but here the writer trusts the reader to keep up with plain language and that trust pays off nicely throughout the entire post.

  44. FabianGiz より:

    Picked this site to mention to a colleague who would benefit, and a look at focusunlockspotential added more material I will pass along, recommending sites to colleagues is a higher bar than recommending to friends because the professional context demands more careful curation and this site cleared the professional bar without me having to think.

  45. Geneupsef より:

    Now planning to come back when I have the right kind of attention to read carefully, and a stop at claritysimplifiesprogress reinforced that plan, choosing the right moment to read certain content is a quiet form of respect for the work and this site is generating those careful planning behaviours from me consistently as a reader.

  46. Milonex より:

    Liked the way the post balanced confidence and humility, and a stop at claritypowersresults maintained the same balance, knowing when to assert and when to acknowledge uncertainty is a sign of mature thinking and the writers here have clearly developed that calibration through what I assume is years of careful work on their craft.

  47. GunnerDag より:

    A piece that handled the topic with appropriate weight without becoming portentous, and a look at silkstrandly continued that calibrated seriousness, content that takes itself seriously without becoming pompous is something this site has clearly figured out and the balance shows up in every piece I have read across multiple sessions now.

  48. Michaeluniff より:

    A well calibrated piece that knew its scope and stayed inside it, and a look at clarityoveractivity maintained the same scope discipline, scope creep is one of the failure modes of long blog posts and this site has clearly invested in the editorial discipline to prevent it which shows up in tightly contained pieces.

  49. DeanWinia より:

    Really appreciate this kind of writing, no shouting and no clickbait headlines just steady useful content, and a quick look at claritydrivesmotion kept that going, definitely a site I will be returning to whenever I need a sensible take on similar topics in the days ahead and also during slower work weeks.

  50. Estevanvop より:

    Reading this gave me a small refresher on something I had partially forgotten, and a stop at nexoravision extended the refresher, content that strengthens existing knowledge rather than just adding new is content with a particular kind of consolidating value and this site is providing that consolidating function across multiple visits.