どうも、小野田です。
「友達と会話続かなくて沈黙が気まずい！」
って感じたことありますか？
僕もそう感じてたことあります。
が、今なら声を大にしてこれを伝えたい。
気まずい！は幻想
気まずい！を感じる場面ってたくさんあると思います。
・彼氏（彼女）と沈黙になって気まずい
・デートで会話途切れて気まずい
・美容師さんにカットしてもらってるとき気まずい
・職場で上司と２人になると気まずい
僕もそう感じてました。
沈黙になると、そわそわしてきて
「なにか喋らないと！なに喋ろう？思いつかないー！！」
って、なってました。笑
そして振り絞った最後の１滴の言葉は、
「お腹空いたー」・・・みたいな。苦笑
せっかく好きな人と楽しむためにデートしても、
「なに喋ろう？！」と考え過ぎて疲れちゃってました。
でも、気付いたんです。
気付いちゃったんです。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手にそう感じてるだけ。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
ってことに。
衝撃的。
世紀の大発見でした。
「気まずい」は”現象”ではなかったんです。
ただの”主観”なんですよ。
「気まずい」って感じてるから気まずいだけで、
その場が気まずくなったわけじゃない。
これに気付いてから、
「別にこれは気まずい場面じゃない」
と思うようにしました。
そしたら、気まずさを感じることがなくなったんです。
気まずさを感じなくなったら、
ソワソワモゾモゾもしなくなるので、
自然と余裕のある雰囲気になります。
そのおかげか、
「いつも心に余裕あるよね。」
と言われることが多くなりました。
昔はあんなにソワソワしてたのに。笑
でも、そのためにやったことはシンプル！
「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手に感じてるだけなんだ。
と気付くこと。
これだけでした。
こういうのって他にもたくさんあるよなーと思いますけど、
話が脱線するのでその辺はLINE＠で補足するとします。
まだ参加してなかったら参加しておくべし。
ではではー！
いつもありがとうございます。
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
期間限定で電子書籍シリーズもプレゼント中！
コメント
Decided not to skim despite my usual habit and was rewarded for the discipline, and a stop at strategylaunchpad earned the same patient approach, training myself to recognise sites that warrant slower reading is part of being a careful online reader and this site is the kind that helps me practice that skill regularly.
The use of plain language without dumbing down the topic was really well done, and a look at motorzenith continued in that same accessible style, this is something many technical writers fail at because they either confuse their readers or condescend to them but here neither problem appears at all which is impressive really.
Came in skeptical of the angle and left mostly persuaded, and a stop at wavevoyager pushed me a bit further in the same direction, content that can move a critical reader by argument rather than rhetoric is rare and worth pointing out because it indicates real substance underneath the surface presentation here.
Glad I clicked through from where I did because this turned out to be worth the time spent, and after progresswithpurpose I had a fuller picture, the kind of content that earns its visitors through delivering value rather than chasing them through aggressive advertising or constant pop ups appearing everywhere on the screen lately.
Cuts through the usual marketing fluff that dominates this topic online, and a stop at buildforwardlogic kept the same clean approach going, this is the kind of writing that respects the reader’s time rather than wasting it on repetitive setups before finally getting to the point at hand which is what most sites do.
Thanks for the simple approach, too many sites bury the actual point under layers of unnecessary words, but here every line earns its place, and a look at ideasneedvelocity showed the same care for the reader which is something I will remember the next time I need answers on a topic.
Reading this in a quiet hour and finding it suited the quiet, and a stop at progressmapping extended the quiet reading mood, content that matches its own optimal reading conditions rather than fighting them is content that has been thoughtfully calibrated and this site reads as having a particular reading mood in mind throughout.
Coming back tomorrow when I can give this a proper read, the post deserves better attention than I can give right now, and a look at strategyinplay suggests there is plenty more here that deserves the same treatment, definitely a site I will be exploring properly over the next few days when I can.
Solid endorsement from me, the writing earns it, and a look at modernhorizon continues to earn it across the broader site too, the kind of operation that maintains quality across many pages rather than just one viral post is a sign of serious commitment and that is what I see here clearly across what I read.
Now appreciating the small but real way this post improved my afternoon, and a stop at wisdomvertex extended that small improvement effect, content that produces measurable positive impact on the texture of a reading day is content with real value and this site is producing those small positive impacts at a sustainable rate apparently.
Good quality through and through, no rough edges and no signs of being rushed, and a quick look at claritylaunch kept the same polish going, the kind of site that respects its own brand by maintaining consistency across pages which is something I always appreciate as a reader looking for trustworthy information online today.
Worth pointing out that the writer made the topic feel more interesting than I had been expecting, and a look at profitnexus continued that elevation effect, content that improves the apparent quality of its subject through skilled treatment is doing something real and this site has clearly developed that kind of editorial alchemy throughout.
Quiet confidence runs through the whole post, no need to shout to make the points stick, and a stop at laughingnova carried that same restrained voice forward, content that respects the reader by trusting its own substance rather than dressing it up in theatrical language is what I look for online and rarely actually find these days.
A genuinely unexpected highlight of my reading week, and a look at marineharbor extended that pattern, the surprise of finding excellent content rather than the predictable mediocre is one of the few real pleasures of casual web browsing and this site delivered that surprise cleanly today which I really do appreciate.
Thanks for putting in the work to make this approachable, plenty of sites cover the same ground but most do it badly, and a quick visit to actionmapsuccess confirmed this one stands apart, simple language and useful examples without anyone trying to sell me anything along the way which I really appreciated.
Highly recommend to anyone looking for a sensible take on this topic without the usual marketing nonsense, and a look at glamourvista kept that grounded approach going, sites that stay focused on serving readers rather than monetising every click are rare and this is clearly one of those rare ones I really appreciate finding.
Reading this slowly to absorb the structure, and the structure is doing real work alongside the words, and a look at savingharbor maintained the same architectural quality, when sentence shapes and paragraph rhythms reinforce the meaning rather than just transporting words you know you are reading skilled work today.
Now leaving a small mental note to recommend this when the topic comes up in conversation, and a look at clarityfirstgrowth extended that recommend ready feeling, content that arms me with shareable references for likely future conversations is content with social value and this site is providing that conversational ammunition consistently for me lately.
Most attempts at writing on this topic feel like they are missing something and this post finally identified what was missing, and a look at buildforwardtraction extended that diagnostic clarity, content that names what is wrong with adjacent treatments while doing better itself is content with both critical and constructive value and this site has both.
Reading carefully here has reminded me what reading carefully feels like, and a look at actionoverhesitation extended that reminder, the experience of careful reading versus skimming is different in ways I had partially forgotten and this site has clearly refreshed my memory of what attention feels like when content rewards it consistently.
If I had to defend the time I spend reading independent blogs this site would feature in the defence, and a look at urbanbartender reinforced that defensive utility, the ongoing case for non algorithmic reading is one I make to myself periodically and sites like this one provide the actual evidence that supports the case clearly.
Started taking notes about halfway through because the points were stacking up, and a look at buildwithmotion added enough material that my notes file grew further, content that demands note taking from a passive reader is content with substance and the writers here are clearly producing that kind of work consistently across topics.
Refreshing change from the usual sites covering this topic, no clickbait and no padding, and a stop at brightacademy confirmed the difference, this place clearly has its own voice rather than copying the formulas everyone else uses to chase clicks online which is becoming increasingly rare these days across nearly every popular subject.
Thanks for keeping the writing direct without losing the warmth that makes content feel human, and a stop at clarityactivates carried both qualities forward, balancing professionalism and personality is a rare skill and the writers here have clearly figured out how to consistently land it across many posts which I notice.
Liked the way the post balanced confidence and humility, and a stop at actiondrivenoutcomes maintained the same balance, knowing when to assert and when to acknowledge uncertainty is a sign of mature thinking and the writers here have clearly developed that calibration through what I assume is years of careful work on their craft.
Now thinking about this site as a small example of what good independent writing looks like, and a stop at discountnexus continued that exemplary status, the few sites that serve as good examples are sites worth holding up in conversations about quality and this one has earned that exemplary placement through patient consistent effort over time.
Reading this gave me material for a conversation I needed to have anyway, and a stop at urbanmarket added even more talking points, content that connects to upcoming social or professional needs rather than just being interesting in the abstract is the kind that earns priority placement in my attention these days routinely.
Felt the writer respected me as a reader without making a show of doing so, and a look at visiondirection continued that quiet respect, this is the kind of small but meaningful detail that separates the sites I bookmark from the ones I close after a single skim and never return to again no matter how interesting the headline.
Worth your time, that is the simplest endorsement I can give, and a stop at velvetorbit extends that endorsement across the rest of the site, this is one of those increasingly rare places that delivers on what it promises rather than over selling the content and under delivering on substance every time which I find frustrating elsewhere.
Generally I am cautious about recommending sites on first encounter but this one warrants the exception, and a look at urbanlatino reinforced the exception making, the rare site that justifies breaking my normal cautious approach is the rare site worth flagging early and this one has prompted exactly that early flagging response from me.
Just wanted to say this was useful and leave a small note of thanks, and a quick visit to pixelgallery earned a similar nod from me, the small acknowledgements add up over time and represent the real economy of trust that good content runs on across the open and increasingly fragmented modern internet.
Reading the writers other posts after this one suggests the quality is consistent rather than peak, and a stop at fitnessnexus confirmed the consistent quality reading, sites that hold the same level across many pieces rather than peaking on a few are sites with sustainable editorial discipline and this one has clearly developed that.
Just want to recognise that someone clearly cared about how this turned out, and a look at activehorizon confirmed that care extends across the broader site, you can feel the difference between content shipped to hit a deadline and content released because the writer was actually proud of the result for once.
The examples really helped me grasp the points faster than abstract descriptions would have, and a stop at strategyforwardpath added a few more practical illustrations that drove the message home, the kind of writing that knows its readers learn better through concrete situations rather than vague generalities is rare and worth recognising clearly.
Now feeling confident enough in this site to use it as a reference point for evaluating others on the same topic, and a look at growthwithintent continued the comparison friendly quality, sites that serve as quality benchmarks for their topic are precious and this one has clearly become a benchmark for me on this particular subject area.
A piece that reads as if the writer trusted readers to fill in obvious gaps, and a look at actionwithsignal continued that respectful approach, content that does not over explain what the reader can infer is content that respects intelligence and this site has clearly chosen to write to capable readers rather than to the lowest common denominator.
A piece that prompted a small mental rearrangement of how I order related ideas, and a look at moveideaswithpurpose extended that rearranging effect, content that affects the structure of my thinking rather than just adding to it is content with the deepest kind of impact and this site is reaching that depth for me today.
Took the time to read every paragraph rather than skimming for the punchline, and a quick visit to pathwaytoaction earned the same careful attention from me, that is the highest signal I can give about content quality because my default mode is rapid scanning rather than deliberate reading on most pages.
Really appreciate that the writer did not overstate the importance of the topic to make the post feel weightier, and a quick visit to inkedvoyager maintained the same modest framing, content that is honest about its own scope rather than inflating itself is the kind I trust and return to repeatedly over time.
Decided to read more before commenting and the more I read the more I wanted to say something, and a stop at goldenbarrel pushed that impulse further, when content provokes the urge to participate rather than just consume it is doing something quite specific and worth recognising clearly when it happens during reading.
Worth saying that the post fit naturally into a rhythm of careful reading, and a stop at modernvertex extended the same rhythm, content that pairs well with how I actually read rather than demanding a different mode is content well calibrated to its likely audience and this site has clearly thought about that consistently.
Reading this in a quiet hour and finding it suited the quiet, and a stop at strategylaunchpad extended the quiet reading mood, content that matches its own optimal reading conditions rather than fighting them is content that has been thoughtfully calibrated and this site reads as having a particular reading mood in mind throughout.
Left me wanting to read more rather than feeling burned out, that is a good sign, and a look at socialcircle confirmed there is plenty more here to explore, the kind of writing that builds appetite rather than killing it which is a rare quality on the modern open internet today across most categories of content.
Solid post, the structure is easy to follow and the language stays simple even when the topic gets a bit more involved, and a look at claritycreatesadvantage kept that same standard going, so I left feeling like the time spent here was actually worth something for once which is rare lately.
Came here from a search and stayed for the side links because they were that interesting, and a stop at motionwithmeaning took me even further into the site, the kind of organic exploration that good content invites is something most sites kill through aggressive interlinking and pushy navigation choices rather than relying on quality.
A genuine compliment to the writer for keeping the post focused on what mattered, and a look at intentionalprogression continued that disciplined focus, focus is a editorial choice that compounds across many small decisions and this site has clearly made those small decisions consistently across what I have read so far this week here.
Reading this slowly because the writing rewards a slower pace, and a stop at clarityshift did the same, the pace at which I read content is something I now use as a quality signal and writing that earns a slower pace earns my attention as a reader looking for substance these days.
Thanks for keeping the writing direct without losing the warmth that makes content feel human, and a stop at darkvoyager carried both qualities forward, balancing professionalism and personality is a rare skill and the writers here have clearly figured out how to consistently land it across many posts which I notice.
Saving the link for sure, this one is a keeper, and a look at rapidcourier confirmed I should bookmark the entire site rather than just this page, the consistency across what I have seen so far suggests there is a lot more here worth coming back for soon when I have more time.
Quietly building a case in my head for why this site deserves more attention than it currently seems to receive, and a look at executionpathway reinforced the case, the gap between quality and recognition is a recurring frustration in independent online content and this site is one of the cases that seems particularly egregious to me today.