どうも、小野田です。
これは恋愛でもそうですし、
日常的な人間関係でも言えることで、
僕がメルマガ運営をしていて感じたことでもあります。
たとえば、
あなたがTwitterで誰かをフォローしたり、
誰かのメルマガやLINE＠に登録するときって、
どんなときですか？
「この人と仲良くなりたい！」
「この人と関係を作りたい！」
って感じるときは、どんなときですか？
人間関係が生まれるときは だいたい２パターン
会社で上司だったとか、
アルバイト先が一緒だった、
みたいな状況じゃなくて、
自分から誰かと関係を作りたい！
っていうときは２パターンです。
１．情報に興味を持つ
２．世界観に共感する
１．情報に興味を持つ
「情報」も世界観に含まれるような気がするんですが、
ここで書いた情報は、たとえばこういうのです。
・顔が好み
・スタイルが好み
・肩書き
・年収、実績
・学歴、職歴
・その人が持つ知識
・その人が持つノウハウ
こういうのを意味して「情報」って書きました。
あなたがSNSのプロフィールに
「数学全国１位」って書いたとして、
それがキッカケでフォローしてきた人がいたとしたら、
それは”情報に興味を持った”状態なんですね。
「読者モデル」って書いたとして、
それキッカケでのフォローなら
それも情報に興味を持たれて繋がった状態。
こっちの関係は脆いです。苦笑
情報はいくらでも他人と比べられるものなので、
「あっちの方が良い！好み！」
ってなれば、サーッと風のように去っていきます。
悲しいけどこれ、現実。
２．世界観に共感する
世界観っていうのは、自分の思想の
集合体だと思ってもらえればオッケーです。
たとえばディズニーランドは
「夢の国」というコンセプトがあって、
それに共感してるファンがめちゃくちゃ多いです。
じゃあ、その世界観をどんな風に
作ってるのかというと、
・夢の国の地面はどんなのかな？
・夢の国にゴミは落ちてるかな？
・夢の国の人達はどんな人かな？
・夢の国の建物はどんなのかな？
・夢の国ではどんなイベントがあるかな？
こういう細かい思想を積み上げて、
世界観を作ってます。
で、こっちの関係は強靭です。
一度築かれたら簡単には崩れません。
なぜか？
世界観は、他と比べられない
オンリーワンなものだから。
あなたと好みも思想もすべて
まったく同じ人なんて存在しないですよね。
だから、そこに共感したら
他に移る理由がないんです。
もし他の人に興味持ったとしても、
「A→B」みたいに離れることはなく、
「A→A＋B」になるくらい。
あなたへの興味は失われないんですね。
ディズニーが好きだけど
USJの世界観に興味を持ったとき、
ディズニーから離れるわけじゃなくて、
「ディズニーも好きだしUSJも好き！」
ってなるんです。
でも、もしディズニーが
「アトラクションの凄さ」で興味持たれてたら、
USJに完全に移っちゃう可能性があります。
世界観に共感してもらおう
最初は情報からのスタートでもいいんです。
ルックスに自信あるなら
そこから興味持たれてもいいし、
筋トレやダイエットでスタイルを磨いたりして。
あとは実績だったり肩書きを見せて。
でも、情報だけで関係を作ると長続きしません。
もっと優れた情報の持ち主がコンニチハしたら、
すぐそっちに移ってしまいます。
なので、世界観を出していって
そこに共感してもらうのが理想。
好きなものは「好き」と言って、
どうでもいいものは「どうでもいい」と言う。
ちなみに僕が三大どうでもいいと思ってることは、こんな感じ。
・年齢
（1年なんて人間が勝手に決めた単位だから）・体重
（自分が動きやすいかどうかが大事）・職業
（職業なんて聞いてない。
あなたが何故その仕事を選んだのかが聴きたいんだ）— 小野田サトシ@コミュ力 (@carory) 2017年7月27日
離れる可能性もあるけれど、
それで共感してもらえて築いた関係は長続きします。
どんどん自分の世界観を発信していきましょー！
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学などなど
幅広い分野の知見を惜しみなく発信してます。
直接LINEでのやり取りもできます。
（380人以上が参加！）
（もしくはLINE ID「@carory」で@込みで検索）
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