どうも、小野田です。
「友達と会話続かなくて沈黙が気まずい！」
って感じたことありますか？
僕もそう感じてたことあります。
が、今なら声を大にしてこれを伝えたい。
気まずい！は幻想
気まずい！を感じる場面ってたくさんあると思います。
・彼氏（彼女）と沈黙になって気まずい
・デートで会話途切れて気まずい
・美容師さんにカットしてもらってるとき気まずい
・職場で上司と２人になると気まずい
僕もそう感じてました。
沈黙になると、そわそわしてきて
「なにか喋らないと！なに喋ろう？思いつかないー！！」
って、なってました。笑
そして振り絞った最後の１滴の言葉は、
「お腹空いたー」・・・みたいな。苦笑
せっかく好きな人と楽しむためにデートしても、
「なに喋ろう？！」と考え過ぎて疲れちゃってました。
でも、気付いたんです。
気付いちゃったんです。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手にそう感じてるだけ。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
ってことに。
衝撃的。
世紀の大発見でした。
「気まずい」は”現象”ではなかったんです。
ただの”主観”なんですよ。
「気まずい」って感じてるから気まずいだけで、
その場が気まずくなったわけじゃない。
これに気付いてから、
「別にこれは気まずい場面じゃない」
と思うようにしました。
そしたら、気まずさを感じることがなくなったんです。
気まずさを感じなくなったら、
ソワソワモゾモゾもしなくなるので、
自然と余裕のある雰囲気になります。
そのおかげか、
「いつも心に余裕あるよね。」
と言われることが多くなりました。
昔はあんなにソワソワしてたのに。笑
でも、そのためにやったことはシンプル！
「気まずい」は、
自分が勝手に感じてるだけなんだ。
と気付くこと。
これだけでした。
こういうのって他にもたくさんあるよなーと思いますけど、
話が脱線するのでその辺はLINE＠で補足するとします。
まだ参加してなかったら参加しておくべし。
ではではー！
いつもありがとうございます。
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
期間限定で電子書籍シリーズもプレゼント中！
コメント
A piece that did exactly what it promised in the headline without overshooting or underdelivering, and a look at directionguidesgrowth continued that calibration, alignment between promise and delivery is a basic editorial virtue that many sites fail at and this site has clearly mastered the matching of expectation and substance throughout pieces.
Reading this slowly in the morning before opening email, and a stop at ideasrequiredirection extended that protected attention, content that earns the prime morning reading slot before the daily distractions begin is content with elevated status and this site has earned that prime slot consistently in my recent reading habits clearly.
Now noticing that the post did not mention the writer at all, focus stayed on the topic, and a look at growthpipeline continued that author absent quality, content that disappears the writer to focus on the substance is a particular kind of generosity and this site has clearly chosen the substance over the personality consistently.
Useful information presented in a way that does not feel like a sales pitch, that is what I appreciated most, and a stop at moveforwardintentionally was the same, no upsell and no fake urgency just steady content laid out properly for someone trying to actually learn from it rather than just be sold to.
If I were grading sites on this topic this one would receive high marks, and a stop at buildtractioncleanly continued earning those high marks, the informal grading I do mentally for content sources is something I take seriously even though it is informal and this site has been receiving consistent high marks across multiple sessions today.
Glad I gave this a chance rather than scrolling past, and a stop at focusshapesresults confirmed I made the right call, sometimes the best content is hidden behind unassuming headlines that do not scream for attention and learning to slow down and check those out has paid off many times now across years of reading.
Thanks for keeping the writing direct without losing the warmth that makes content feel human, and a stop at strategyandclarity carried both qualities forward, balancing professionalism and personality is a rare skill and the writers here have clearly figured out how to consistently land it across many posts which I notice.
Well done, the writing is professional without being stiff, and the topic is treated with care, and a look at ideasneedmomentum reflected that approach, the kind of site I would point a colleague to if they asked for a reliable starting point on this topic in the future without any hesitation at all.
Felt the post had been quietly polished rather than aggressively styled, and a look at ideaswithoutnoise confirmed the same understated polish, sites whose quality reveals itself slowly rather than announcing itself loudly are the kind I trust more deeply because the trust is not based on first impressions of marketing but actual substance.
Now recognising the specific pleasure of reading writing that shows real care for sentence shapes, and a look at ideasgaintraction extended that craft pleasure, sentence level writing quality is something most blog content ignores entirely and this site has clearly invested in the prose layer alongside the substance which is rare today.
Came across this looking for something else entirely and ended up reading it through twice, and a look at clarityfirstmove pulled me deeper into the site than I planned, the writing has a way of holding attention without resorting to manipulative cliffhangers or vague promises that never get delivered later down the page.
Reading the writers other posts after this one suggests the quality is consistent rather than peak, and a stop at buildmomentumintelligently confirmed the consistent quality reading, sites that hold the same level across many pieces rather than peaking on a few are sites with sustainable editorial discipline and this one has clearly developed that.
Took the time to read the comments on this post too and they were also worth reading, and a stop at focusdrivenresults suggested the community quality matches the content quality, when the conversation around a piece is as good as the piece itself you know you have found a real corner of the internet.
Took the time to read every paragraph rather than skimming for the punchline, and a quick visit to forwardenergyflow earned the same careful attention from me, that is the highest signal I can give about content quality because my default mode is rapid scanning rather than deliberate reading on most pages.
Really appreciate this kind of writing, no shouting and no clickbait headlines just steady useful content, and a quick look at claritybridge kept that going, definitely a site I will be returning to whenever I need a sensible take on similar topics in the days ahead and also during slower work weeks.
A small editorial detail caught my attention, the way headings related to body text, and a look at growthwithintent maintained that careful relationship, structural details like that show up to readers who notice them and the writers here have clearly thought about every level of the piece rather than just the words.
Just want to acknowledge that the writing here is doing something right, and a quick visit to momentumdesign confirmed the same standards run across the broader site, recognising good work is something I try to do when I find it because the alternative is silence and silence rewards mediocrity.
Just want to flag that this was useful and not bury the appreciation in caveats, and a look at forwardtractioncreated earned the same direct praise, recognising good work without hedging it with criticism is something I try to practice because over qualified compliments tend to read as backhanded and miss the point sometimes.
Worth saying that the writing carries a particular kind of authority without making any explicit claims to it, and a stop at focusdrivesexecution extended that earned authority feeling, sites that demonstrate expertise through the quality of their explanations rather than by stating credentials are sites I trust most and this site has it.
Held my interest from the opening line through to the closing thought, and a stop at buildforwardtraction did the same, content that earns sustained attention in an environment full of distractions is doing something right and this site is clearly doing several things right rather than just one or two which I really appreciate.
Came across this and immediately thought of a friend who would enjoy it, and a stop at ideasneedvelocity also reminded me of someone, content that triggers the urge to share is content that has earned my recommendation and this site has earned multiple from me already across different conversations during the week.
Now appreciating that I did not feel exhausted after reading, and a stop at forwardthinkingcore extended that energising quality, content that leaves me with more attention than it consumed is rare and the gap between draining and energising content is real over the course of a typical day spent reading widely online.
Probably this is one of the better quiet successes on the open web at the moment, and a look at actionpoweredgrowth reinforced that quiet success quality, sites that are doing well without making a noise about doing well are the sites I most respect and this one has clearly chosen the quiet success path consistently throughout.
Quietly enjoying that I have found a new site to follow for the topic, and a look at clarityoveractivity reinforced the small pleasure of the find, the discovery of new high quality sources is one of the more durable pleasures of careful internet reading and this site has been generating that discovery pleasure at multiple points already today.
A nicely understated post that does not shout for attention, and a look at clarityactivatorhub maintained the same quiet quality, understatement is a stylistic choice that distinguishes serious writing from attention seeking writing and this site has clearly committed to the understated approach as a core editorial value rather than just a phase.
A clean read with no irritations, and a look at progresswithforwardintent continued that frictionless quality, the absence of small irritations is something I notice only when present elsewhere and this site is one of the rare places where everything just works and lets me focus on the substance rather than fighting the format.
Now noticing the post fit a particular gap in my reading without my having articulated the gap before, and a look at focusacceleration extended that gap filling effect, content that meets needs I had not consciously formulated is content with reader insight and this site has clearly developed that anticipatory editorial sense across many pieces.
Thanks for the moderate length, neither so short it skips substance nor so long it bloats, and a stop at growthmovesforward hit the same balance, the right length is one of the hardest things to calibrate in blog writing and I appreciate when a team has clearly thought about it rather than defaulting.
Liked that the post resisted a sales pitch ending, and a stop at directionsharpensfocus maintained the no pitch approach, content that ends without trying to convert me into a customer or subscriber is content that has confidence in its own value and this site is clearly playing the long game on reader trust.
Worth pointing out that the writer made the topic feel more interesting than I had been expecting, and a look at momentumovernoise continued that elevation effect, content that improves the apparent quality of its subject through skilled treatment is doing something real and this site has clearly developed that kind of editorial alchemy throughout.
However selective I am about new bookmarks this one made it past my filter, and a look at clarityguidesmotion confirmed the bookmark was worth the slot, the precious slots in my permanent bookmark folder are difficult to earn and this site earned one without making me think twice about whether the slot was justified by the quality.
Started reading without much expectation and ended on a high note, and a look at ideasbecomemovement continued that arc, content that builds rather than peaks early is a sign of a writer who knows how to structure a piece for sustained reader engagement rather than relying on a strong hook to do all the work.
Honestly this was a good read, no jargon and no padding, and a short look at idearoute kept that same feel going which I really appreciated, the writer clearly knows the topic well enough to explain it without hiding behind big words or filler that often gets used to seem clever.
My usual pattern is to skim and bounce but this site has reset that pattern temporarily, and a stop at buildwithmotion maintained the slower reading mode, content that changes how I read is content with structural influence and this site has clearly nudged my reading behaviour toward something better at least for the duration of these visits.
Worth flagging that the post handled an angle of the topic I had not seen elsewhere, and a look at growthwithoutnoise extended that fresh treatment, content that finds underexplored corners of well covered subjects is genuinely valuable and this site has demonstrated that exploratory editorial approach across multiple pieces in my reading sessions today.
Refreshing to read something where the words actually mean something instead of filling space, and a stop at actionintoprogress kept that going, the writing here trusts the reader to follow along without endless repetition or constant reminders of what was already said earlier in the post which I appreciate.
Now planning to come back when I have the right kind of attention to read carefully, and a stop at focuspowersmovement reinforced that plan, choosing the right moment to read certain content is a quiet form of respect for the work and this site is generating those careful planning behaviours from me consistently as a reader.
Now recognising the editorial wisdom of letting some questions remain open at the end, and a look at focuscreatesleverage continued that intellectual honesty, content that does not force closure on contested questions is content that respects the limits of knowledge and this site has clearly developed the maturity to know when to leave space.
Reading this on a long flight and finding it the best thing I read across hours of trying, and a stop at ideasintoresultsnow kept the streak going, when content beats long flight reading you know it has substance because flight reading is a hard test of a piece given the alternatives available everywhere.
Worth saying that this is one of the better things I have read on the topic in months, and a stop at actionplanner reinforced that ranking, the topic is well covered by many sources but few do it with this level of care and the few that do deserve to be flagged so other readers can find them.
Now appreciating that I did not feel exhausted after reading, and a stop at momentumwithmeaning extended that energising quality, content that leaves me with more attention than it consumed is rare and the gap between draining and energising content is real over the course of a typical day spent reading widely online.
Now feeling confident enough in this site to use it as a reference point for evaluating others on the same topic, and a look at directionanchorsmotion continued the comparison friendly quality, sites that serve as quality benchmarks for their topic are precious and this one has clearly become a benchmark for me on this particular subject area.
Came here from another site and ended up exploring much further than I planned, and a look at focusbuildsvelocity only encouraged more exploration, the kind of place where one click leads to another not through manipulative design but through genuinely interesting content is rare and worth highlighting when found like this somewhere on the open internet.
Well done, the kind of post that makes you slow down and actually read instead of skimming for keywords, and a look at focusunlockspath kept me reading carefully too, that is a sign of writing that has been crafted rather than churned out for an algorithm to see today and tomorrow.
Closed three other tabs to focus on this one and never opened them again, and a stop at moveideascleanly similarly held attention exclusively, content that crowds out other reading from working memory is content with real density and this site has demonstrated that density across multiple pages I have visited so far this morning.
Cuts through the usual marketing fluff that dominates this topic online, and a stop at claritymeetsaction kept the same clean approach going, this is the kind of writing that respects the reader’s time rather than wasting it on repetitive setups before finally getting to the point at hand which is what most sites do.
Closed it feeling slightly more competent in the topic than I started, and a stop at moveideaswithpurpose reinforced that competence boost, real learning is rare in casual online reading but it does happen sometimes and this site managed to make it happen for me today which is genuinely worth pausing to acknowledge.
Skipped the comments section but might come back to read it, and a stop at moveideasforwardclean hinted at a quality reader community, sites where the comments are worth reading separately from the post are increasingly rare and signal a particular kind of audience that has grown around the editorial vision over time gradually.
Glad to have another data point on a question I am still thinking through, and a look at growthneedsalignment added two more, content that acknowledges its place in a wider conversation rather than pretending to settle the question alone is intellectually honest in a way that I wish was more common across the open web.
Now considering carefully how to share this site with the right audience rather than broadcasting widely, and a look at buildforwardlogic extended that careful sharing impulse, content worth sharing carefully rather than spamming is content that has earned a higher kind of recommendation and this site has earned that careful shareability throughout pieces.