人前で話すの苦手なあなたへ
どうも、小野田です。
ご存知の通り僕は人見知りコミュ障でした。
(え、知らねーよって?)
今ではセミナー開いたり、
トークイベントを開こうとするくらいには人前で話せるようになったんですが、
昔からしたらそんなの”事件”です。苦笑
学校の授業中に手を挙げることすら出来ませんでしたから。
人前に立つと、
脳内に牛乳でも流し込まれたのかってくらい
頭の中が真っ白になりましたし、
西野カナ以上に足が震えてました。
(↑いや西野カナは震えてない。曲が震えてるのだ)
この記事を開いたってことは、
あなたにもそんな経験があるのでは?
辛いですよね。分かります。
なので今回は、そんな状態からどう脱出したのか?
という僕なりの考えを5つ紹介していきます。
練習する
ものすごいシンプルなんですが、
練習するの大事。
「こんなこと話そう」
と、ふわっと思ってるだけだと緊張します。
Youtubeに100本以上喋るだけの動画投稿したり、
何百時間ものセミナー音声収録してきた経験上、
これは間違いなく言えます。
話す内容が曖昧だと言葉が出てこない。
頭が真っ白になります。
ですが、練習すれば詰めの甘いところが分かります。
必ずどこかで言葉が詰まるはずなので。
そういうところは、
まだ自分でしっかり理解できてないことが多いです。
ですので、練習によってそこを見つけて、詰める。
そうやって話す内容を深くまで理解できてれば、
あとは話すことに集中できるので
言葉に詰まることは激減します。
シミュレーションする
「練習する」と似てるんですが、微妙に違います。
こっちは現実世界では何もしません。
脳内のなかでシミュレーションします。
言ってしまえば、ただの妄想。笑
でもバカにできませんよ。
脳科学で分かってる脳の性質には、
こういうものがあるんですから。
脳は、現実世界での経験と、
脳内で鮮明にイメージした経験を区別できない。
脳って、超絶ハイスペックですけど、
おっちょこちょいで可愛いところもあるんです。笑
つまり、
◆現実世界で、人前で流暢に話せた
◆脳内妄想で、人前で流暢に話してる自分をイメージした
この2つの経験を区別できないんです。
人前で話そうとすると頭真っ白になるのは、
そもそもとして「苦手意識」も原因の1つなんですね。
脳が「人前で話すのが苦手だ」と思い込んでるから、
本当にそうなるんです。
(セルフイメージの問題)
だったら、セルフイメージを書き換えればいい。
そのためには、
「人前で上手く話せなかった」という記憶を、
「人前で上手く話せた」という記憶で上書きしていきます。
何をすればいいか?
ただひたすら、
自分が人前で流暢に話せてる様子をイメージするだけ。
それも、鮮明にイメージします。
・話してるときの喉の震え、
・目の前に広がる景色
・足元に感じる靴の感触
・その部屋の匂い
・相手の反応
とにかく鮮明に。
これを毎日やることで、
脳に勘違いさせていきます。
「あれ?俺ってもしかして人前で話せちゃう系男子?」
ってな感じに。
ちなみに僕はこの方法、
女性と話すの苦手なのを克服するのにも使いました。笑
ただの妄想より遥かにエネルギー使いますが、
オススメの方法です。
笑いを挟む
話してるとき、
相手から何の反応もないとしんどいです。
ずっと無表情の相手に話し続けるくらいなら、
口の中にレモン絞られ続けた方がマシ(何
ですが、笑ってくれたり、
ほんの少しでも微笑んでもらえたら、
かなり緊張が和らぎます。
相手との距離も縮まった感じがして、
やりやすくなります。
(友達相手なら話しやすいように)
なので、なるべく前半で笑いを挟むのがオススメ。
ただ、プレゼンとか面接など、
カッチリした場面では使えないのでご注意を!
自覚する
仏教で平常心を取り戻す方法として、
「自覚する」というものがあります。
やり方はシンプルで、ただ自覚するだけ。
「ああ、今自分は緊張してるんだな」
「ああ、今自分は不安なんだな」
と、淡々と自覚する。
このときの注意点は、
感情とか評価は挟まないこと!
「ああ、今自分は緊張してるんだな。
こんなことで緊張するなんて・・・」
というのはダメってことですね。
ただただ、自分の心の状態を言葉にするだけ。
心の中にあるザワつき、
モヤモヤに名前を付けてあげるだけ。
できたら紙に書き出すのもオススメです。
そうやってハッキリ自分の状態を自覚することで、
客観的に見れて平常心を取り戻すことができます。
僕も緊張するときには、
「ああ、緊張してるんだな」
「良いこと言おうとしてるわ俺」
「バカだと思われたくないって感じてるな」
と、自分の状態を自覚するようにしてます。
慣れる
僕らが普段、友達とする会話と、
誰かに何かを伝えるトークは別物です。
普通に生きてたら、
そういう機会は少ないんですね。
ですので、
そもそもとして慣れてないことが多い。
あなたが「苦手」だと思ってることは、
実は「慣れてない」だけかもしれません。
ですから、落ち込まなくても大丈夫。
ここを勘違いして「やっぱり苦手だ。。。」
って落ち込むと、セルフイメージも下がります。
セルフイメージが「苦手」になれば、
本当にそうなるようになります。
なので、
「今は慣れてる途中なんだ。
お風呂でいえば足だけ浸かってるくらいなんだ。」
というのを忘れないように!
以上、5つ。
僕が授業中に手を挙げれないような状態から、
人前でセミナーできるくらいになるために意識してきたことです。
ぜひぜひ参考にしていただければと思います。
では。
◆LINE@も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
=コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
直接LINEでのやり取りもできます。
(400人以上が参加)

(もしくはLINE ID「@carory」で@込みで検索)


コメント
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