どうも、小野田です。
「職場の人付き合いがしんどいです」
という相談も、ちょくちょくいただきます。
友達とは違い、仕事で関わる人は
基本的にこちらでは選べないことが多いですからね〜。。
たまに「こいつヤベー」って人もいると思います。苦笑
そういうときは転職するのが
一番手っ取り早い可能性もあるんですが、
なかなかそう簡単に決断できないこともあります。
ですので、
人付き合いにしんどさを感じたときには、
こんなことを意識してみてはどうでしょうか？
仕事（職場）の人付き合いがしんどいとき
超絶に嫌なヤバい人はイレギュラーなので除外して、
人付き合いがしんどく感じるときって、
どんなときだと思いますか？
・・・
人付き合いがしんどいときって、
”気を遣ってるとき”なんですよ。
・機嫌を取る
・嫌われたくない
・悪い評価をされたくない
・仲良くしなきゃ
・いい印象持たれなきゃ
こういうマイナスな動機で人と接してると、
しんどくなります。
「気を遣う」はまさに「気を使う」ことで、
エネルギーを使ってるってこと。
だから、しんどくなる、疲れる。
「気を遣う」とはどんな状態か？
”自己犠牲”してる状態です。
自分を押し殺して相手に合わせたりしてるときに、
僕らは「気を遣う」と言います。
（ちなみに「気配り」とは意味が違います）
僕は、気配りはどんどんするべきだと思いますが、
気遣いは止めた方がいいと思ってます。
なぜなら、そこにはマイナスな動機があるから。
マイナス動機で人と接すると、しんどいんですよ。
「じゃあ、どうすればいいの？」
シンプルです。逆をやればいいんです。
プラスの動機で人と接するようにすればいいんですね。
具体的には・・・
「自分のために」を中心にする。
たとえば誰かに優しくするとき、
気遣いでやらないこと。
自分のために他人に優しくするんです。
とはいえ、
「これで相手の好意をゲットだぜ！」
と、ポケモントレーナーみたいなスタンスではありません。
（それはビジネスな優しさ）
そうじゃなくて、
この場合の「自分のため」のニュアンスは・・・
「自分は人に優しくできる人間なんだ」
という自己表現として人と接する。
・自分は他人に優しい人間で在りたい
・自分は他人に優しくできる人間なんだ
そういう”美学の自己表現”として、
他人に優しくするのです。
これ、どう考えても自分のためですよね？
でも結果的には相手のためにもなってるんです。
ですが「相手に優しくする」という行動は同じでも、
その根本にある動機が違うので、
そこに消費されるエネルギー量も変わるんです。
もう一度改めてまとめると、
誰かに優しくするとき、
その動機は主に３パターン。
１．気遣いから
２．好意が欲しいから
３．美学の自己表現のため
消費エネルギー量（しんどさ具合）を
簡単な図で表すとこんな感じ。
１＞＞＞２＞３
誰かと接するのは信頼関係を築くためでもあるんですが、
それだけだとしんどい時もあります。
そんなときは、
「自己表現の手段の１つ」
というスタンスに変えるのがオススメ。
では、ありがとうございました！
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
直接LINEでのやり取りもできます。
（400人以上が参加）
（もしくはLINE ID「@carory」で@込みで検索）
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The Star Brisbane Chief Executive Officer, Daniel Finch,
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These include ongoing inquiries by the New South Wales
Independent Casino Commission into the company’s compliance
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A set of escalators lead visitors to the high roller level.
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A show-cause notice on Star’s casino licence was initially deferred until December 2023, then deferred
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Star Brisbane chief executive Daniel Finch declared today the company was progressing well in efforts to satisfy the state government’s standards on anti money-laundering and
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“The completed Sky Deck will connect all four towers of the Queen’s Wharf development and signify a further milestone in the project’s progression,” the statement said.
This is far from the first time the opening date has been revised—in July, 2022 The Star advised that the
cost of materials, the pandemic and substantial rain had delayed the project by six months and added 10 per
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Construction of the basement continued with the megastructure rising 26 meters up out of the ground and then continuing up to level 3 and level 4 of the integrated resort podium.
Waterline Park is positioned behind 1 William Street, adjacent to the river and provides space for people to relax
and enjoy or exercise using some of the equipment. In addition to the excavation work occurring, work began on the construction of Waterline Park and the
Goodwill Bridge extension area that includes the Mangrove Walk and upgrades to the Bi-Centennial Bikeway.
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