どうも、小野田です。
「家にいるのが苦痛！」という相談を
チラホラいただきます。
・親が進路や趣味にアレコレ口出ししてくる
・兄弟が邪魔してくる
・家がうるさくて落ち着かない
などなど、
リラックスできる場所であるはずの家が、
むしろストレス溜まる場所になってる、ってことはありがち。
アメリカのペンシルベニア州立大学の研究でも、
「職場より家庭の方がストレス多い」
と感じてる人の方が多いというデータが出たそうです。
ただ、122人をランダムに抽出して行った実験らしいので、
そこまで対象者が多くないです。
なので、参考程度にするくらいのデータなんですが、
それでも、「そう感じてる人はいる」というのは事実。
この記事を開いたってことは、
あなたもそう感じることがあるってことですよね？
ですので今回は、
そんなときに大事な考え方を話そうと思います。
家族といると疲れる！ときに大事な考え方
僕自身、両親が離婚してることもあり、
決していい家庭環境とは言えませんでした。
家にいるとストレス溜まることも多く、
学校よりもアルバイト先よりも、
どこよりも”自分らしくいられない場所”でした。
そんな中で大事にしていた考えは、
家族といえども、他人
ということ。
血は繋がってるかもしれませんが、
逆に言えばそれだけなんですよ。
ちょっと顔の造りとか体格が似てるからって、
違う人間であることに変わりありません。
冷たい言い方に聞こえるかもしれませんが、
「他人」なんです。
たとえ家族でも、他人。
たぶん多くの人は、
外国人に対しては「しょせんは他人」
という感覚がハッキリしてると思います。
分かり合えないことや
共感できないことがあっても、
「まあ、他人だからしょうがないよね」
と、すんなり理解できるはず。
ですが、同じ日本人・・・
ましてや家族にまで身近な存在になってくると、
なぜかこの感覚が薄れてるんですね。
僕は、たとえ家族でも友達でも、
外国人と同じだと思ってます。
なんなら、
これは昔から言い続けてることなんですが、
「自分以外はみんな宇宙人」
くらいに思ってます。笑
それくらい違う存在なんだから、
分かり合えないことや
理解できないことは山ほどある、ってこと。
以前、「人には大きく分けて炎タイプと水タイプ」がいる。
という内容の記事を書きました。
（→この記事）
で、こういうのって、
家族内でも分かれます。
炎タイプと水タイプは
基本的に真逆の考え方なので、
分かり合えやしないんですね。
お互いがお互いにイライラするんです。
まあ、こういうタイプ分けを理解して、
お互いが相手のタイプを把握してれば別ですが・・・。
ただ、そんなの普通に生きてたら
教われないことなので、なかなか難しい。
となると、家族といえども結局は他人なんだ。
って感覚を持っておくのが大事。
親孝行・恩返し、という洗脳
家族のことを他人だと割り切ろうとしたとき、
「親孝行・恩返し」という足かせが顔を出します。
（足なのか顔なのか。苦笑）
これ、悪しき風潮です。
そんなこと考えてたら、
期待に応えることに必死になって
自分らしく生きていけなくなります。
せっかくのあなたの才能を潰す可能性が高い。
期待に応えようとしなくていいんですよ。
自分らしく生きて、
自分の才能を活かせることして
世の中に貢献（間接的でも）していくことが、親孝行なんです。
恩は返すものじゃないです。
そのエネルギーを世の中に送り出して、
家族内という小さな範囲じゃない、
より大きな循環を作っていくものなんです。
そうして世の中が少しでも良くなれば、
その影響が結果的に自分たちにも返ってくるわけです。
家を出るのもアリ
こちらのスタンスは変えれても、
他人の考え方を変えることはできません。
となると、どうしても辛いなら
「家を出て離れる」という選択はアリ。
今の時代、シェアハウスとかで安く住めますしね。
立地にこだわらなければ、
家賃も２万円以内で収まる物件もあるので、
それなら、アルバイトで十分に生活していけます。
大丈夫。
日本で餓死することなんてまず無いですから。
意外と生きていけます。
このセーフティネット大事。
「餓死はしない」
これを忘れずに！
では、今回はこれで。
ありがとうございました。
コミュニケーションについては
LINE＠で限定情報も配信してるので、
今回の記事を面白いと感じたなら参加するのオススメ。
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
直接LINEでのやり取りもできます。
（400人以上が参加）
（もしくはLINE ID「@carory」で@込みで検索）
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情報たっぷり 観光ケース! いい感じです！ 岩上の城 ありがとうございます 正直な説明に。