どうも、小野田です。
最近Youtubeで『嫌われる勇気』の本の解説シリーズを出してて、
アドラー心理学について考えることが多くなってます。
あ、Youtubeも見てね！
「目から鱗・・・かと思ったらコンタクトだった」
っていう経験ができるはず。
（↑つまりドライアイ）
今回は、このアドラー心理学を恋愛に当てはめてみようと思う。
恋愛が成功する方法、というよりは、
「嫉妬」とか「不安」への向き合い方って意味で考えてみる。
アドラー心理学を恋愛に当てはめる
とある女性の恋愛相談に乗ってたとき、
「私にはなんの取り柄もないから、どうしたらいいか分かんない」
って言ってたんですよ。
いやいやいや！
あなたそれ、
「私には他の人との違いが何もない」ってこと？
んなわけあるかい！って。
取り柄、って考えるから難しくなる。
ハードル高く感じる。
「こんなの取り柄なんて言えないよ」って気持ちになる。
もっとシンプルでいいのに。
「他の人との違いは何か？」
これでいいじゃん。
たとえば「お洒落が好き」
これだって立派な取り柄だ。
僕はファッションに疎くて、
ユニクロとかGUでシンプルなの買って着てればいいや、
って感じだから、ファッションに詳しい人は純粋にスゲー！って思う。
でも多くの人は、
そういうのを「取り柄」って言わないんだよね。
なんでか？
これをアドラー心理学で考えると、
「保険」をかけてるからだ。
「自分には取り柄がある」って言わなければ、
もし上手くいかなかったとき、自分に言い訳できるから。
「だって自分には取り柄ないんだからしょうがないよね」って。
この思考パターンの裏側には、
【好きになってもらえない＝自分には価値がない】
っていう思い込みがある。
自分に取り柄があると思うことは、
自分に価値があると思うことでもある。
だけど、
好きになってもらえない＝価値がない、
って思い込みがあると、
上手くいかなかったときに自分を否定されることになる。
だったら、最初から取り柄がないことにして
自分には価値がないことにしておけば、
上手くいかなかったときのダメージは少ない。
そういう保険だ。
いやいやいや！
無かったことにするのは取り柄じゃなくて鳥居だけにしとこうよ！
（↑なに言ってんだコイツ）
何が言いたいかっていうと、
そもそも「好きになってもらえない＝価値がない」
の思い込みが違うんだよ。
「合わなかった」
ただそれだけのこと。
恋人に振られたとしても、
価値がないわけじゃない。
”相手の求めてる価値が違ってただけ”なんだよ。
あなたには、価値がある。
あなたには、取り柄がある。
それは間違いない。
取り柄っていうとハードル高く聞こえるけど、
ちょっとしたことだって取り柄。
・服が好き
・マンガが好き
・ゲームが好き
・本が好き
・外で遊ぶの好き
・家で映画観てるの好き
・笑いのツボが浅い
こういうのぜーーんぶ、取り柄。
こういうのも取り柄だってことが腑に落ちれば、
嫉妬の感情も減る。
これを忘れずにいこう。
「嫌われる」とか「振られる」は、
表現が重たいだけだ。
表現を換えれば・・・
あなたが持ってる価値と
相手の”求めてる価値”が違っただけ。
ただ、それだけのこと。
ではでは！
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
期間限定で電子書籍シリーズもプレゼント中！
コメント
My usual pattern is to skim and bounce but this site has reset that pattern temporarily, and a stop at yogayonder maintained the slower reading mode, content that changes how I read is content with structural influence and this site has clearly nudged my reading behaviour toward something better at least for the duration of these visits.
Telefonumdan mərc etmək istəyirdim, amma brauzer daim donurdu. 1xbet mobil tətbiq yüklə — axtaranda bir çox sayt çıxdı. İnterfeys inanılmaz sürətlidir. 1xbet apk son versiya — Oyun başlamazdan əvvəl xatırladır. Yoxsa təhlükəsizlik riski ola bilər. 1xbet mobil uygulama indir 1xbet mobil uygulama indir Aktual yükləmə linki və bütün detallar burada üçün bölgə. 1xbet mobil tətbiqini yükləmək istəyirsinizsə — linkə klikləyin. 1xbet yukle — hər yerdə, hər zaman mərc zövqü!
Amma qeydiyyatın necə olduğunu bilmirdim. Kiçik bir araşdırma apardım. 1xbet üzvlük — ekranda göstərilənləri izləmək kifayətdir. hər düşmə fərqli nəticə verir. Az məbləğlə belə şansını sınaya bilərsən. əvvəlcə qeydiyyatı tamamlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat 1xbet qeydiyyat Yadda saxlayın, paylaşın, itirməyin üçün bölgə. Bu, ən doğru başlanğıcdır. 1xbet qeydiyyat — Plinko ilə tanışlığın ən qısa yolu!
Now planning to recommend this site in a context where my recommendations are taken seriously, and a stop at iciclemarket confirmed I should make that recommendation soon, the small but real act of recommending content into spaces where my taste matters is something I take seriously and this site is worth the recommendation.
Approaching this site through a casual link click and being surprised by what I found, and a look at trendnook extended the surprise, the rare experience of stumbling into excellent independent content rather than predictable mediocrity is one of the actual remaining pleasures of casual web browsing and this site provided it cleanly.
Top quality material, deserves more attention than it probably gets, and a look at jaspermarket reflected the same effort across the site, a hidden gem in the modern web where most attention goes to whoever shouts loudest rather than whoever actually delivers the best content for their readers without much marketing fanfare.
Worth recognising that the post handled a familiar topic without reaching for any of the obvious hot takes, and a stop at willowvault continued that fresh treatment, sites that find new angles on subjects others have exhausted are sites worth following carefully and this one has clearly developed that exploratory instinct through patient practice.
Thank you for not assuming the reader already knows everything, the explanations meet me where I am, and a look at giftmora did the same, that consideration is what makes a site feel welcoming rather than gatekeepy which is sadly the default mood across the modern web today for most subjects covered.
Обычные сайты часто дают недостоверную информацию. Всё проверено и аргументировано. Медицинский журнал — разборы терапии, кардиологии, неврологии. Она подписалась на электронную версию. Только доказательная медицина. Говорят, что это реально полезно. медицинские журналы рф медицинские журналы рф Сохраните, поделитесь, не потеряйте для региона. Хотите читать качественные медицинские статьи — переходите по ссылке. Медицинский журнал — знания, которым можно доверять!
Bir çox sayt sınadım, amma ya oranlar aşağı idi, ya da ödənişlər gecikirdi. Amma hesab açmaq üçün əvvəlcə qeydiyyatdan keçmək lazım idi. 1xbet qeydiyyat — bir neçə saniyə ərzində SMS gəlir. Futbol, basketbol, tennis — hər şey var idi. Bu, mərclərə başlamaq üçün əla stimuldur. Sonra isə mərc etməyə başlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat 1xbet qeydiyyat Yadda saxlayın, paylaşın, itirməyin üçün ölkəmiz. 1xbet qeydiyyat ilə idman mərclərinə başlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat — idman həyəcanına ilk addım!
Sets a higher bar than most of what shows up in search results for this topic, and a look at buildabrigade did not lower that bar at all, in fact it confirmed the impression, this is the kind of consistency that earns a place in regular rotation for serious readers instead of casual scrollers passing through.
Bu yüzden 1xbet’in mobil uygulamasını indirmeye karar verdim. 1xbet indir — aradığımda bir sürü site çıktı. Uygulamayı indirdim, kurdum. 1xbet android uygulama — Kaçırmak imkansız. Yoksa güvenlik riski olabilir. 1xbet mobil indir 1xbet mobil indir Linke göz atın için bölge. En güvenilir yol bu. 1xbet indir — her yerde, her zaman bahis keyfi!
Felt mildly happier after reading, which sounds silly but is true, and a look at outboardoutlet extended that small mood lift, content that improves rather than degrades my mental state is content I want more of and the cumulative effect of reading sites that lift versus sites that drag is real over time.
Bookmark added with a small mental note that this is a site to keep, and a look at harborhardware reinforced the keep status, the verb keep rather than visit captures something about how I think about this kind of site and it is a higher tier of relationship than I have with most places online today.
Honest take is that this was better than I expected when I clicked through, and a look at parcelbay reinforced that, the bar for online content has dropped so much that finding something thoughtful and well constructed feels almost noteworthy now which says more about the average than about this site itself.
Elə həmin gün özüm üçün 1xbet-də hesab açmaq qərarına gəldim. Telefon nömrəsi, bir neçə klik və hesab hazırdır. 1xbet qeydiyyatdan keçmək — ekranda göstərilənləri izləmək kifayətdir. hər düşmə fərqli nəticə verir. Bu, oyuna başlamağı daha da cəlbedici edir. əvvəlcə qeydiyyatı tamamlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat 1xbet qeydiyyat Yadda saxlayın, paylaşın, itirməyin üçün Azərbaycan. Qeydiyyat və Plinko barədə ətraflı məlumat üçün linkə keçin. 1xbet qeydiyyat — Plinko ilə tanışlığın ən qısa yolu!
Bir çox sayt sınadım, amma ya oranlar aşağı idi, ya da ödənişlər gecikirdi. Necə edəcəyimi bilmirdim. 1xbet-də qeydiyyat — kod daxil edilir və hesab hazır olur. Canlı mərclər də mövcuddur. Bu, mərclərə başlamaq üçün əla stimuldur. Sonra isə mərc etməyə başlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat 1xbet qeydiyyat Bütün detallar və qeydiyyat linki burada üçün bölgə. Ən asan və etibarlı yol budur. 1xbet qeydiyyat — idman həyəcanına ilk addım!
Just one of those reads that left me feeling slightly more capable rather than overwhelmed, and a look at checkoutcharm kept that empowering feel going, the difference between content that builds the reader up and content that intimidates them is huge and this site clearly knows which side of that line to stand.
Worth marking this site as one to come back to deliberately rather than by accident, and a stop at ambriva reinforced that intention, the difference between sites I find again by chance and sites I return to on purpose is meaningful and this one has clearly moved into the deliberate return category for me.
Came in confused about the topic and left with a much firmer grasp on it, and after keywordkiosk I felt I could explain this to someone else without hesitation, that is the gold standard for any educational content and most sites simply fail to reach it ever which is unfortunate but true.
Liked the balance between depth and brevity, never too shallow and never too long, and a stop at serumstation kept the same balance going across the rest of the site, this is one of the harder skills in writing and the team here clearly has it figured out very well indeed across every page.
Solid value for anyone willing to read carefully, and a look at breakfastboulevard extends that value across the rest of the site, this is the kind of place that rewards return visits rather than offering everything in a single splashy post and then leaving readers nothing to come back for later which is unfortunately common.
Approaching this site through a casual link click and being surprised by what I found, and a look at timekeepertrader extended the surprise, the rare experience of stumbling into excellent independent content rather than predictable mediocrity is one of the actual remaining pleasures of casual web browsing and this site provided it cleanly.
Now thinking about how to apply some of this to a project I have been planning, and a look at quickcrate added more material for the planning, content that connects to my actual creative work rather than just being interesting in the abstract is the kind that earns priority placement in my reading rotation consistently going forward.
Sonda dostlarım 1xbet-i tövsiyə etdilər. Necə edəcəyimi bilmirdim. 1xbet hesab açmaq — kod daxil edilir və hesab hazır olur. Canlı mərclər də mövcuddur. Az məbləğlə belə şansını sınaya bilərsən. Sonra isə mərc etməyə başlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat 1xbet qeydiyyat Linkə baxın üçün bölgə. Linkə klikləyin. 1xbet qeydiyyat — idman həyəcanına ilk addım!
Walked away with a clearer head than I had before reading this, and a quick visit to birchvendor only sharpened that, the writing has a way of cutting through the noise that surrounds most topics online which is something I will definitely remember the next time I am searching for an answer to anything.
Elə həmin gün özüm üçün 1xbet-də hesab açmaq qərarına gəldim. Məlum oldu ki, 1xbet qeydiyyat heç də mürəkkəb deyil. 1xbet qeydiyyatdan keçmək — ekranda göstərilənləri izləmək kifayətdir. hər düşmə fərqli nəticə verir. Az məbləğlə belə şansını sınaya bilərsən. əvvəlcə qeydiyyatı tamamlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat 1xbet qeydiyyat Yadda saxlayın, paylaşın, itirməyin üçün ölkəmiz. Qeydiyyat və Plinko barədə ətraflı məlumat üçün linkə keçin. 1xbet qeydiyyat — Plinko ilə tanışlığın ən qısa yolu!
Worth flagging this site to a few specific friends who would appreciate the editorial sensibility, and a look at coppermarket added more pages I will mention to them, recommending sites to specific people requires understanding both the site and the person and this site is making those personalised recommendations easy and natural for me.
A valuable source of information healthfare focused on healthy living, nutrition, and self-care. The website features useful materials on everyday nutrition, along with practical advice. The resource also features product overviews. The content also covers balanced daily habits, nutrition and food choices, exercise and fitness, self-care, and overall well-being.
Found the writing surprisingly fresh for what is by now a well covered topic, and a stop at tealtrade kept that freshness going across the related pages, original perspective on familiar ground is hard to come by and this site has clearly earned its place in the conversation rather than just rehashing old ideas.
Рассмотреть услуги https://autsorsing-ohrany-truda-msk.ru для организации. Профильные специалисты берут на себя работу по охране труда. В процессе сопровождения проводится организация обучения. Локальные нормативные акты актуализируются в соответствии с поставленными задачами. В случае нехватки внутренних ресурсов отдельные процессы можно передать внешним специалистам. Внешнее сопровождение помогает систематизировать работу с документами. Представителю организации не придется тратить рабочее время на рутинные задачи. Рассчитайте состав работ с учетом специфики бизнеса. Оставьте заявку по телефону и получите помощь в ведении охраны труда.
Заказать красивый dostavka-buketov-omsk.ru через сайт. В каталоге представлены свежие букеты. Находите состав цветов для юбилея. Оформите желаемое оформление и порадуйте близкого человека.
Выгодно сегодня джинсы Levi’s для разных сезонов. На сайте представлены джинсы свободного кроя. Примеряйте мысленно модель по фигуре ориентируясь на посадку и размер. Обращайте внимание на размерную сетку. Добавляйте понравившуюся модель в корзину онлайн и обновляйте гардероб без лишних поездок.
An online guide https://healthfare.ca/ covering health, balanced nutrition, and daily wellness. The website features relevant articles on balanced nutrition, along with useful recommendations. The site also offers useful product guides. Among the main topics are balanced daily habits, nutrition and food choices, physical activity, personal care, and general wellness.
Заказать ведение направления аутсорсинг охраны труда цены для офиса. Эксперты по охране труда осуществляют работу по охране труда. В перечень работ предусматривается актуализация документации. Локальные нормативные акты актуализируются исходя из специфики предприятия. В случае нехватки внутренних ресурсов отдельные процессы можно передать внешним специалистам. Привлечение специалистов помогает контролировать выполнение требований. Работодателю не потребуется тратить рабочее время на рутинные задачи. Запросите состав работ с учетом специфики бизнеса. Отправьте запрос онлайн и получите помощь в ведении охраны труда.
Подобрать Омск доставка цветов онлайн. В ассортименте собраны праздничные композиции. Находите композицию для юбилея. Выберите удобное время и оформите доставку по нужному адресу.
Легко в интернет-магазине выбрать джинсы онлайн для мужчин. В интернет-магазине можно найти базовые варианты. Выбирайте цвет и посадку для повседневной носки. Сравнивайте особенности кроя. Выбирайте нужную пару в несколько кликов и выбирайте удобный способ получения.
A nicely understated post that does not shout for attention, and a look at outrankoutlet maintained the same quiet quality, understatement is a stylistic choice that distinguishes serious writing from attention seeking writing and this site has clearly committed to the understated approach as a core editorial value rather than just a phase.
Saving this link for the next time someone asks me about this topic, and a look at powermarineparts expanded what I will be sharing with them, this is the kind of resource that makes a real difference when you are trying to point a friend to something useful and reliable rather than generic marketing pages.
Closed it feeling slightly more competent in the topic than I started, and a stop at ravlora reinforced that competence boost, real learning is rare in casual online reading but it does happen sometimes and this site managed to make it happen for me today which is genuinely worth pausing to acknowledge.
Comfortable reading experience throughout, no jarring tone shifts and no awkward formatting, and a look at pcpartspine kept that smooth feel going, the kind of editorial polish that goes unnoticed when present but glaring when absent is something this site has clearly invested in across the broader content as well which deserves recognition.
Felt slightly impressed without being able to point to one specific reason, and a look at verdantmarket continued that diffuse positive feeling, when content works at a level you cannot easily articulate the writer is doing something with craft rather than just delivering information and that is something I have learned to recognise.
Futbol mərclərini çox sevirəm. Yolda, işdə, hətta stadionda belə. 1xbet tətbiqini yüklə — çoxlu saxta sayt var. Futbol matçlarını canlı izləmək mümkündür. Qolu buraxmaq ehtimalı yoxdur. İndi hər yerdə futbol mərclərimi rahat şəkildə edirəm. 1xbet yukle 1xbet yukle Yükləmə linki və bütün detallar burada üçün Azərbaycan. Linkə klikləyin. 1xbet yukle — futbol həyəcanı həmişə yanınızda!
Amma qeydiyyatın necə olduğunu bilmirdim. Telefon nömrəsi, bir neçə klik və hesab hazırdır. 1xbet qeydiyyat — ilk baxışda çox addım kimi görünür. hər düşmə fərqli nəticə verir. Üstəlik, ilk depozitə bonus da aldım. əvvəlcə qeydiyyatı tamamlayın. 1xbet qeydiyyat 1xbet qeydiyyat Bütün addımlar və link burada üçün bölgə. Bu, ən doğru başlanğıcdır. 1xbet qeydiyyat — Plinko ilə tanışlığın ən qısa yolu!
Found the rhythm of the prose particularly enjoyable on this read through, and a look at jettiva kept that musical quality going across the related pages, sentence rhythm is something most blog writers ignore but it makes a real difference in how content lands with the careful reader who cares.
Considered against the flood of similar content this one stands apart in important ways, and a stop at ringrivulet extended that distinctive feel, sites that find their own corner of a crowded topic and stay there are sites worth following and this one has clearly carved out its own space and committed to defending it carefully.
If patience for careful reading is rare these days finding sites that reward it is rarer still, and a stop at compliancecorner extended that rare reward, the diminishing returns on shallow content reading have made me more selective about where to spend reading time and this site is meeting the higher selectivity bar consistently.
Came away with some new perspectives I had not considered before, and after quartzvendorcorner those ideas felt more complete, the kind of content that stays with you a little while after reading rather than slipping out the moment you switch tabs and move on with your day to whatever comes next.
Came in expecting another generic take and got something with actual character instead, and a look at kettlecart carried that personality forward, finding a distinct voice on a saturated topic is impressive and worth pointing out when it happens because most sites end up sounding identical to their nearest competitors quickly.
More substantial than most of what I find searching for this topic online, and a stop at jeweldepot kept that quality consistent, this is one of those sites where the writing actually rewards careful reading rather than punishing the patient reader with empty filler stretched out across long paragraphs that say very little.