どうも、小野田です。
人付き合いが苦手！
って感じてるそこのあなた。
分かります。僕も苦手でした。
でも、１人の時間が好きとはいえ、
誰かと一緒にいるのが嫌なわけじゃないんですよね。
むしろ、楽しいことの方が多い。
でも、どうしてればいいか分からなくなる。。。
根も葉もないこと言っちゃえば、
「人付き合い苦手なら無理しなくていいじゃん。
苦手を克服するより長所伸ばした方がいいよ。」
って結論になるんですが、
そんなこと聞いてないよ！って話ですよね。
なので今回は、人付き合いの苦手意識を
少しでも克服するための話をしようと思います。
【動画VER.】
人付き合いを苦手に感じる理由は、
誰かと一緒にいるとめちゃくちゃエネルギー使って疲れるからです。
どんな人でも、誰かと一緒にいれば
エネルギー使うもんですが、
苦手意識のある人は、その消費エネルギー量が多い。
なぜか？
相手を楽しませようとしてる
誰かと一緒にいるとき、
相手を楽しませようとしたり、
不快な思いをさせたくないな〜って考えてます。
これは僕もそうでした。
そうなると、主語が「相手」なんですよね。
・相手が楽しんでるかどうか？
・相手が不快に感じてないかどうか？
そんなことばかり考えてます。
そりゃー、疲れますよ。苦笑
だから、今日でそれは終わり。
楽しませようなんて思わない。
え？分かりにくい？
もう少し具体的な言葉にしますね。
人のために笑わない。
笑顔は大事なこと。
いろんな素晴らしい効果があるし、
人付き合いをヌルヌルにしてくれます。
（その表現なんかおかしい）
ですが、人のために笑わなくていいんですよ。
自分のために笑うべし。
自分が楽しい気分になるために、笑う。
自分が笑顔の効果を受けるために、笑う。
表情筋を鍛えて老化防止のために、笑う。
そんなスタンスでいい。
しかも、目の前の人が笑顔でいて悪い気分になる人はいません。
誰だって、
「自分は人を良い気分にさせることができる！」という嬉しい気持ちになります。
なので、自然と相手も楽しい気分になります。
って感じで、自分のために笑ってれば
相手にも笑ってもらえるんです。
Youtubeで人が笑ってる様子を
延々と映される動画がありましたが、
それ見てたら笑えてきますもん。笑
↑ひたすら人が笑ってるところが流れる動画。
（開始１分くらいから様子がおかしくなります！笑）
自分を笑顔にさせてくれた相手には、無条件で好感を持つのが人間。
この流れは覚えておくといいです。
人付き合いの苦手意識が強い人は、
「相手を〜」ばかり考えてます。
ですが、ちょっと視点を変えれば一気に楽になりますよ。
自分のために笑う。
これでいい。
「相手のために」は、
「自分のために」の延長線上にあるのです。
この記事が面白かったらLINE＠もオススメ。
【関連記事】
→仕事での人付き合いがしんどいときは？
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
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