どうも、小野田です。
異性に優しくされて、その人のことが
気になるようになった経験ありますか？
・・・そうですか。ありますか。
そういうことにしておきましょう（何
この記事の動画ver.
人が人を好きになる理由は曖昧なもので、
それを完璧に理論的に解説するなんて不可能ですし、
きっとこれからも出来ないと思います。
もし「自分はあの人の〇〇な所を見て好きになった！」
って思うんでしたら、それはきっと後付け。
その理由を思いつく前から、
もう好きだったんですよ。
で、その後に自分で納得するために理由を考えたんです。
そんな感じで、人が人を好きになるキッカケは
曖昧なものなんですが、
「こういう要素もある」くらいには話せます。
なので今回、その１つを紹介しようと思います！
まず異性に優しくされたとき、
僕らの脳内では何が起こってるのか？
無意識にこんな疑問が浮かんでるんです。
「なんで優しくしてくれたんだろう？」
その後、相手を観察します。
この疑問の答えを探すために。
（まだ相手のことをよく知らないほど強く考えます）
・この人は誰にでも優しいのかな？
・それとも今日は気分が良かっただけ？
・え、もしかしてオレに気があるのかな？
・後で請求書でも届くのかな？
・まさか、、、夢？
これって、脳の性質なんですね。
相手のことをもうすでにある程度知っていて、
「この人は優しい人だ」って分かってれば
もう答えが分かってるので考えたりしないんですが、
相手のことをまだあまり知らない状態だと、
答え探しのために考えるんです。
つまり、
脳は、知識に空白があると
それを埋めようとする
ドラマやマンガが良いところで区切れるのは、
この性質を応用して次も見続けてもらうための作戦です。
いま上映してる映画『メアリと魔女の花』
でも使われてたんですが、
はじまってすぐに意味不明なシーンが出てきて
「なにこれ？どゆこと？」って視聴者に思わせるのも
この脳の性質を応用して興味を惹きつけるテクニック。
そんな風に、
「なんで優しくしてくれたんだろう？」
っていう理由探しをしていると、
自然と相手のことを考える時間が増えてきます。
それに、「この人は誰にでも優しいのか？」
っていう可能性を確認するために、
相手のことを観察してる時間が増えます。
そしたら、
段々わけ分かんなくなってきます。笑
相手のことを見たり考えてる内に、
「あれ？もしかしてオレあの人が好きなのかな？」
って考え出すんですよ。
すり替わるんです。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
優しさの理由を探す
↓
そのために観察する
↓
ずっと観察してる自分に気付く
↓
あれ？もしかして、、、恋？？
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
すると、優しさの理由探しだったはずが、
いつの間にか目的が変わっちゃいます。
「自分はあの人が好きなのかな？」
っていう疑問に変わるんですよ。
そうして、
どんどん相手のことが気になっていく・・・。
これ、よくある流れだと思います。
僕の過去を思い返してみても、
「なんかあの人のことが好きな気がする」
の根本にあったのは”理由探し”だった気がします。笑
すごくモテる人は、たぶん無意識ですが
こういう流れを起こしてることが多いです。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
「好きな人いるんだ」
って異性の友達に話して、それが誰かは教えない。
これも相手からすれば、
知識に空白ができた状態になります。
そしたら「誰が好きなんだろ？」
って考えるようになる。
すると、自然と相手を観察するようになる。
・・・ここから先の流れはお察しの通り。
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
脳って、おもしろい。
では、今回はこの辺で〜。
ありがとうございました！
◆LINE＠も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
＝コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。
期間限定で電子書籍シリーズもプレゼント中！
コメント
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