どうも、小野田です。
では、今回のテーマに入りましょう!
問題なのは既読スルーされた後の接し方
読者の方から、こんな質問をよくいただきます。
自分には今、好きな人がいて、
なかなか直接話せる機会はないけど、
LINEで連絡を取り合っています。だけど、
既読スルー(無視)されたり、
たまに会っても少し話すだけで
避けられてる感じがします。壁があるような・・・。
どうしたらいいですか?
「どうしたらいいですか?」
と言われても、
質問がボヤッとし過ぎていて答えるのが難しいのですが、
問題を解決するためには問題の原因を知るのが先です。
「なんで避けられるんだろう?」
↑これを考えてみる、ってこと。
【関連記事】
LINE既読スルーされる理由は2つで、対処法は1つだけ
僕が思うに、既読無視されること自体は
どうでもいいんですよ。
会話が盛り上がってるタイミングで無視されるならまだしも、
落ち着いてる状態で無視されるのは、
そんなに落ち込むようなことではありません。
なぜなら、そこが会話の区切りだから。
終わるべきタイミングで会話が終わった
ただそれだけの事です。
もしあなたが既読無視したなら?
ただ、LINEには「既読」という機能が
付いている以上、問題なのはそこから。
たとえば、あなたが
「既読無視をした側」だとしましょう。
そしたら、
次に相手とリアルで会ったとき、どう思いますか?
多分、少しは罪悪感ありますよね。
無視したわけですから。
特に、長年一緒にいる友達とかではなく、
まだ出会って数ヶ月くらいの人が相手なら尚更ですよね。
それは相手も同じなのです。
相手だって無視したわけですから、
多かれ少なかれ罪悪感はあるはずなのです。
で、
そんな罪悪感を抱えた状態で
その対象となる人に会えば、
「そら避けたくもなるよな」ってもんです。
なので、
そこでどんな態度で接するコトが出来るのかが、
人としての器の大きさを決めるだろうし、
次に繋がるかどうかを左右するわけです。
既読無視されたときの接し方
つまり、
「え?既読無視?そんなの気にしてないよ!」
という態度で接しよう!ってこと。
(実際に言うわけではない)
向こうが気まずさを感じていることを察して、
こっちはあくまで自然に明るく接していくわけですね。
それが「余裕を見せる」ってこと。
そして、
相手の立場になって考える、
ということでもあります。
ただ、
・天地がひっくり返るほど面白くなかった
・どう見ても下心丸出しでガツガツしていた
という理由で既読無視された場合は、
マインドの問題ではないのですぐに解決することは難しいです。
今回伝えたかったのは、
「既読無視をした側」も、 多かれ少なかれ罪悪感があるから、 その気持ちを汲み取ってみてはどうかな?
という提案です。
既読無視されるコトが問題ではないのです。
既読無視された後に
どんな態度で接するか。
↑これが大事。
今回はそんな感じで。
それではまたー!
ありがとうございました。
【関連記事】
LINE既読スルーされる理由は2つで、対処法は1つだけ
◆LINE@も好評です◆
技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
=コミュニケーション力
そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学などなど
幅広い分野の知見を惜しみなく発信してます。
直接LINEでのやり取りもできます。
(380人以上が参加!)

(もしくはLINE ID「@carory」で@込みで検索)


コメント
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