「孤独」の対義語は「連帯」ではなく「一体感」だと思う

恋愛・コミュニケーション

どうも、小野田です。
「孤独の対義語って何?」という質問を見かけて、
僕なりに考えてました。

我らがGoogle先生で調べてみたところ、
どうやら「連帯」が1番人気みたいです。

で、2番人気が「団結」。

でも、僕はしっくり来ませんでした。

そこで、連帯を辞書で調べてみました。

そこに書いてあったのは・・・
【連帯:2つ以上のものが結びついた状態】

うーん、やっぱりしっくり来ない。
 

孤独の対義語は連帯ではない

孤独を感じるときについて、
こんな意見を見かけました。

「1人でいるときは孤独を感じないけど、
何人かのグループ等でいるときに孤独を感じる」

1人でいるときは孤独を感じない・・・
これがあり得るとしたら、連帯の定義を満たしません。

連帯が孤独の対義語だとしたら、
2人以上の結びつきがない状態は孤独ってこと。

でも、1人でいるときは意外と孤独を感じない・・・。

つまり、孤独の対義語として
連帯はピタリとハマってないってこと。

では、何か?
(タイトルでもうネタバレしてるんですがね笑)
 

孤独の対義語は「一体感」である

ドイツの哲学者エーリッヒフロムは、
著書の『愛するということ』のなかで、
こんなことを言ってます。

人間にある最も強い欲望は、
孤独から解放されることなんだよね。
あらゆる悩みの源泉はここにあるんよ。
(今風に翻訳)

じゃあ、それを満たすための手段として
フロムは何をオススメしてるのか?

それが、本のタイトルでもある「愛」です。
 

僕はこの本に感銘を受けて、
この本を教科書に1ヶ月間の講座をやったくらいなんですが、
「愛」とは何か?を簡単に表すと、こうなります。

愛とは、主語を「わたし」でも 「あなた」でもなく「私たち」にすること

自分を犠牲にして「誰かのため」を考えるなんて、
そんなのは本当の愛じゃない、と言ってます。

「自分のため」も含めた「誰かのため」。
つまり、「私たち」という主語が愛なんだ。
と言ってるんですね。
(だいぶ要約してますが)
 

「私たち」という感覚が一体感

「私たち」というのは、
「私とあなた」とは違います。

これ超大事!
似てますが、違うんですよ。

これは僕の感覚なんですが、
「私とあなた」というのが「連帯」のことです。

ですが、それでは孤独から解放されません。
 

「私たち」という一体感を感じるとき、
人は孤独から解放されるんですね。

これはアドラー心理学でいう「共同体感覚」と同じです。
 

あなたは、どんな主語で人と接してますか?

・私(自分中心)
・あなた(自己犠牲)
・私とあなた(連帯、取引の関係)
・私たち(一体感、愛情)

これは意識の問題。

もし上の3つだったとしたら、
「私たち」という主語を意識するようにすれば
人間関係はめちゃくちゃ良くなります。
 

あなたは、どんな主語で人と接してますか?

僕自身も、改めて戒めようと思います。

では、だいぶ脱線しましたが(笑)、
「孤独の対義語って何?」という話でした!

一体感を生み出すようなコミュニケーション力は、
LINE@でもっと踏み込んで話したりしてます。
 

◆LINE@も好評です◆

技術ばかりに偏るコミュニケーション教材に疑問を感じ、
心×身体×技術
=コミュニケーション力

そんな信念から、心と身体を整え
伝え方の技術も磨くために、
脳科学、東洋医学、哲学、心理学など
最高レベルの情報を惜しみなく発信してます。

直接LINEでのやり取りもできます。
(400人以上が参加)

(もしくはLINE ID「@carory」で@込みで検索)

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